Life of Lauren

Stitching Blog

2011-04-15T14:55:00.006-04:00

I've started up a new blog to keep track of my cross stitching projects!

**Ambitious Stitches **

Stop by and check out how it's going!

3 Year Blogoversary

2011-04-14T12:06:00.002-04:00

Happy Blogoversary to Me! I guess it shouldn't really count since I haven't been dedicated to this space in over a year. It's still a nice reminder of how far I've come in the last 3 years though, so I'll take it. I found out from my cardiologist yesterday that recommends I have a procedure to close a hole in my heart. They have reason to believe that the hole allowed a blood clot to pass from one side of my heart to the other, which then allowed it to travel straight up into my brain causing the mini-stroke. Closing the hole will eliminate that variable and hopefully prevent the same thing from happening again. So, I'll be having heart surgery on Monday. It's not open heart, so there are many fewer risks involved, but I am still scared. I trust my cardiologist and the hospital where the procedure will take place. Most of all I trust in my God. I have tremendous faith that all will be well and everything will go as planned. The human parts of me still tremble at the thought of the problems that could arise. I'm trying really hard not to dwell on that. So, sometime on Monday my heart will be fixed! Hooray! I'll spend the night in the hospital (probably working on my cross stitching in peace and quiet) and then head home the next morning. Pray for me!

Hello World!

2011-04-11T12:32:00.005-04:00

Has it really almost been a year since I blogged last?

Wow.

It's really amazing how much time changes things and how life really gets in the way! So much has happened since I last wrote here that I hardly know where to begin. How about a short, sweet list? Yep, sounds good to me too.

- We've moved! We purchased our first home, which nearly doubled our square footage, and we love it! Of course, the mortgage payment really is no fun, but having enough room to breathe in makes it worth it.

- Natalie will be 5 in less than two weeks. The day after her birthday is Kindergarten registration.... I don't even want to think about that! My baby girl has grown up so much.

- Evan's birthday this year brings him to 2 years old. He's not much of a talker yet, but he's super loud and always lets you know (in his own little language) what he wants or needs. He hates bugs and loves to eat.

- I've started cross stitching again and I'm thinking of starting another blog specifically for my projects. The more I stitch the more I love it!

- And now, a bit of scary news. On February 5th, I ended up in the emergency room after having a mini stroke. For a few minutes I could not use the left side of my body. There is a whole crazy story that goes along with this, but the good news is that there was no lasting neurological damage!! Praise God!! It's looking like I will have to have a minor surgery to fix a heart problem, but that shouldn't be too big of a deal. Right now I am on blood thinners and have strict orders to never be on birth control EVER AGAIN. They still don't know what caused the stroke, but they don't want to take any chances.

Whew. So nice to be blogging again. I wish I could say for sure that I will keep this up, but life is pretty fast paced right now. I do miss being able to keep track of the kids progress, cute sayings, and adorable things they do on a daily basis. I'm going to do my best to be back on here as often as I think of it.

Until next time, God bless and be safe everyone!

TV Theme Songs - Straight No Chaser

2010-04-29T13:45:00.004-04:00

It's no real secret that I love TV theme songs. Just take a look at my music player and you'll see one of my favorites on there.

And nothing really takes you back like hearing a song from one of your favorite shows as a kid! So, when a friend posted this on their face.book profile I just had to put it up here! Reminisce with me!

((Don't forget to pause the music at the side!))

Natalie - 4 Years Old

2010-04-27T11:38:00.003-04:00

My dearest Natibug,

I can barely believe that you are already 4 years old. My tiny little baby has grown into a beautiful preschooler right before my eyes!

As I am typing this, I'm listening to you and your brother playing in the next room. I hear you laughing and singing and Evan giggling right along with you. You are such an amazing big sister! Evan loves playing with you so much, and you are the first person he calls out for in the morning. He calls you "dee-dee" and you love it. You take your responsibility of being a big sister very seriously. If Evan is upset, you try to calm him down or make him laugh. If you see something that he needs or is reaching for, you get it for him.

Of course, there are other times when you get on his nerves, but isn't that what big sisters are for? =) From one big sister to another, I know that sometimes you just gotta set those little brothers straight.

You amaze me with how smart you are. Sometimes I forget that you are just 4... you talk like a child twice that age. Mommy and Daddy really have to be careful what we talk about when you are around, not because we are afraid you will repeat it, but because we know that you will understand what we are saying. We can't even spell things out anymore because you figure that out too! A few weeks ago I was talking to your Daddy about going to the Z-O-O and you piped up saying "We're going to the zoo?? Today? Let's go Mom!"

I love to listen to you talk. You carry on conversations with adults so easily, but sometimes your sentences are a little rambly. =) Just today, you said this: "Momma, today... oh... yesterday on the next day when we left from Disney on that day? I rode Soarin' and I wanted to ride it again but we couldn't on that next day." So adorable!

Your favorite movie is The Princess and the Frog. Coincidentally, the soundtrack to that same movie is your favorite thing to listen to. You love playing outside, working in the garden, blowing bubbles and watching TV. If it's a beautiful day, you want to be outside soaking up the sun, like your daddy. If it's raining outside, you want to snuggle up on the couch and watch a show, like me.

You love to dance. We love to watch you dance. You are so carefree and in love with life!

It makes me sad to think that this will be the last year that you are at home with me all the time. Kindergarten is just around the corner, and while I know you will love school and do well, I'm going to miss having you at home. I wish we could just curl up on the couch with a blanket and stay there forever.

But, as sad as it might be, I can't wait to see how you'll grow. I'm so proud of you, my Natibug!

Happy Birthday!

Love, Mommy

** Blogger is not being nice and letting me add the pictures to this, but I still wanted to post it sometime before she turns 5 LOL **

Prayer Requests

2010-04-26T09:23:00.003-04:00

Breaking the silence today to ask for your help with some prayer requests! There has been a lot going on around here lately and honestly we could use all the prayers we can get.

Please keep my mother in law and her family in your prayers. A few days ago her Mamaw in Tennessee passed and it's really tough on all of them. She wasn't able to get up there to say goodbye and the funeral was yesterday, so she missed that too. It's so hard grieving from a distance!
While your praying for them, add my father in law's side of the family as well. His dad, Poppa Jack, was just moved from the ICU yesterday to a hospice center. He no longer wants to fight. A few weeks ago he fell in his home and broke a few ribs. He now has been battling pneumonia and just isn't getting any better. His wishes yesterday were to no longer be given a feeding tube so they are moving him to a hospice facility until he passes. This is so hard on my father in law... he and his dad are very very close and he's taking on this huge burden without the help of his brothers.
My brother, Josh, is currently en route to Oman, where he has been deployed. Right now he's staying over in Sicily, Italy while the plane they were going to take is being repaired, but soon he'll be in a war zone. From what I understand, he won't be back until Thanksgiving at the earliest. Please pray for his safety and the safety of those around him!

Thanks so much for all your prayers in advance! It means so much!

Coming soon: 4th birthday post for my Natibug and 1 year post for my Evan!

Getting Ready

2010-04-13T09:54:00.004-04:00

Laundry. Dishes. Scrub the bathroom. Make the beds. Vacuum the floors.

Oh how I love my day to day life! =)

What makes it best is that all this prep is going on for an awesome reason. DISNEY! We leave in just 3 days for a trip just for my little princess.

Natalie will be turning 4 in just 11 days (!!!) so to celebrate Josh and I are taking her down to Disney for a few days. We'll be staying at the Animal Kingdom Lodge (for the first time!) and doing whatever she wants to do on those days.

My inlaws will be watching Evan for us so that we can focus solely on Nati. I'm so grateful for this time with my daughter!

But Evan won't be totally left out. 2 weeks after we go we are leaving AGAIN. This time, the inlaws have rented a cabin on Disney property that will hold 6 people, so we're tagging along on their trip too! Since we already have seasonal passes we might as well get our money's worth out of them. That trip will be for Evan's 1st birthday, but I think we'll spend a majority of our time at the cabin. The resort looks gorgeous and they have so many activities that it's a vacation in itself.

So, if you've been wondering why I haven't posted much, there is your answer. Busy busy busy as always. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it!

Wordless Wednesday (Mostly)

2010-04-07T14:43:00.002-04:00

((You guys know I'm no good at Wordless Wednesday))

We've had this pull-behind carrier for a long time. It was originally used back when Nati was around Evan's age to pull her behind our bicycles. The reason I love it so much is because it's impossible for it to tip over due to the way it hooks up. So, yesterday, I got the idea that we could hook this up to Nati's Gator and have her pull them around the yard.

The both loved it!

Just Another Day

2010-03-30T15:46:00.003-04:00

Sorry for the lack of updates lately, dear readers. We've really had nothing major going on for the past week and honestly, I've just been in our daily routine too much to really sit down and write anything.

The biggest news I guess I have is that I more than likely will not have to take a final exam for my College Algebra class. This particular professor doesn't require you to take it if you have an A average in his class, which so far I do. All I have to do is wait until we get our latest test scores back to verify, then I'll just have 3 more classes until I'm done! Next week is spring break, so no class for two weeks. Yay! Good news all around.

Other than that, it's pretty much just been "same stuff different day" around here. The weather is nice, the kids are (mostly) behaving themselves, and I continue to battle the clutter and mess around my house.

We're planning on maybe taking the kids to the zoo on Friday, so if we do I'll be sure to post up some pictures. It'll be Evan's first trip to the zoo EVER so you know I'll be momarazzi for the whole day. =)

Have a great week everyone!

Last Night

2010-03-23T10:45:00.002-04:00

Nati was having nightmares last night. This isn't an unusual occurrence at all, but it's still difficult to deal with.

Here's the scene:

Mom and Dad, after putting the kids to bed and watching something on tv/playing a game/relaxing in general finally head to bed. All the lights in the house are turned off, teeth are brushed, pajamas donned and finally, it's time to climb into bed.

A few minutes after we settle in, without fail, one of the children will start stirring. It's like they know that we are comfortable and just about to fall asleep and decide to wake up. Last night was no exception. As soon as I turn over on my side to go to sleep, I hear Natalie starting to move around and talk in her sleep. She starts saying "No!" and "I don't want to!". Another nightmare. The the crying starts.

Now, Natalie's crying isn't a sweet, quiet little cry. It's high pitched, practically screeching... I swear she could wake up every dog in the neighborhood if we let it go on long enough. Needless to say, this isn't the kind of cry that we just let go on. It's too, well, annoying.

I get up and try to calm her down, which isn't an easy task. She just keeps crying. I try talking to her, soothing her, rubbing her back, and making jokes. Pretty much doing anything I can to get her to stop screeching. Finally, she stops and lays back down. I head back to bed.

Three minutes later, she starts crying again.

This time, Josh goes to try and calm her down. Again, nothing is really working. So he carries her to our bed. We usually don't do this, but we can both tell this is going to be one of those nights, so we just do it. She lays down right away and falls asleep, completely peaceful.

As exhausted as I am, I don't fall asleep right away. I snuggle up next to her. I run my fingers through her hair. I kiss the still lingering tears from her cheeks.

She sleeps. Breathing deep, she's lost to the world. And I'm lost in her.

I start to remember back to the days when I was pregnant with her. Feeling those first little kicks and nudges from her was pure magic. I'd never experienced anything so magical in my entire life.

Fast forward to the day she is born. She's crying and beautiful and perfect. She looks like her father and like me. Ten little fingers and ten little toes. A head full of hair and a sweet little nose.

Then I start thinking about now. About constantly telling her to find something to do, to let Mommy have some space. Instead of just spending time with her, I find myself constantly wishing for time to myself. I've lost that magic between us, that feeling like nothing else in the world matters.

So, last night, instead of just going to sleep, I spend time with her. Just being there, holding her little hand that isn't really so little anymore, I realize that this is what it's supposed to be like. She's the only little girl I've got and I want to enjoy every moment that I'm given with her. Layla Grace taught me that I don't even want to lose a single day.

My little girl is going to be 4 next month. Soon, she'll be off to kindergarten, buying school supplies, wanting to have sleep-overs at friends' houses. Spending time with Mommy isn't going to be a priority anymore.

While I'm still a priority, I want to be one!

So, for a few minutes while she slept, it was just me and my little girl. Nothing else in this whole world mattered.

Redecorating Nati's Room

2010-03-21T19:24:00.001-04:00

We spent this whole weekend completely changing Natalie's room. It was originally my dining room, which was then converted into a nursery before she was born. The color was a darker olive green that actually worked pretty well with her nursery theme at the time. But lately, she's said that "green is a boy color" and that she wanted to change it.

So I caved. I let her pick out whatever colors she wanted and I must say it turned out very beautiful!

Finally Friday

2010-03-19T12:35:00.004-04:00

Hallelujah! Part the clouds!! IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY!!

::sigh::

I love Fridays. Mostly because it means that I'll have my husband home for two whole days without worrying about the office. I crave adult conversations during the week so having him home is just wonderful.

Today is also totally awesome because I'm watching my nephew. Right now, he is asleep in his little bouncy chair and he is such a doll baby. I would take a picture, but he's not a big fan of the paparazzi and I'd rather let him sleep. But trust me, he's gorgeous!

Once his mommy comes to get him, I'm thinking of heading out to do some shopping with the kiddos. There is a great underwear sale going on that I want to take advantage of, as well as an amazing clothing discount for a cause that I just can't pass up. Momma needs some new clothes ASAP!

What are your plans for this beautiful day? Tell me!!

Complaints of a SAHM

2010-03-18T14:00:00.003-04:00

Today is one of those days where I can't quite pin down what it is I'd like to blog about. I sit around, wanting desperately to type out something, anything, that will calm down these random thoughts from floating around tirelessly in my brain. Perhaps just getting them out, and maybe blogging in full about them later, will help me focus.

I don't feel like I've been as nice and motherly to Natalie as I should be lately. Maybe it's just the age that she is, or that I'm not as patient as I used to be, but it just seems like she is constantly running around my ankles, asking questions repeatedly (even though they've already been answered multiple times) or begging for food. You'd think she was some homeless child who'd never eaten before, but I don't lie when I say that she could eat all day long and still ask for more. Her brother is much the same way and it gets very tiring very quickly. She'll eat 3 bowls of oatmeal for breakfast, then immediately ask if she can have a snack or a cookie or if it's time for lunch yet. What gets me the most is that she's not gaining a ton of weight! (I wish it was like that for me... I even look at food and I gain a pound.) She's still tall and skinny as always, but with a bottomless pit for a stomach.
My exasperation with the kids during the day is spilling over and affecting my time with Josh. It always seems to catch up with me right as he comes home and I lash out at him for stupid things. Maybe I do this to him because I can't do it to the children. Why is it that yelling at the kids makes me feel guilty, but yelling at my husband needless does not?
The house is getting cleaner, but it's still frustrating. Even if I spend all day cleaning it's just as messy the next day as it was the day before. I know Josh tries to help, and Nati is obedient if I ask her to do something, but I feel like I'm always begging them to try and help me out some and not make the problem worse. I don't want to spend hours every single day cleaning and never get a day off from it. If I do take the day of from cleaning, then it gets so bad that I'd almost rather just burn the whole thing down and start over.

(This reminds me of a podcast that I'm currently listening to by Mike Bennett. In it, a character is talking to his girlfriend about why he doesn't have any books around the house. He says it's because of the feng shui he's trying out. She asks "Feng shui? What's that?" and he replies "It's Chinese for throwing out all your junk" or something like that. Very funny, that Mike Bennett. The podcast is called Underwood and Flinch, but a fair warning -- it's a horror/vampire/adult situation sort of thing.)

I need a bigger house where I can have room to store things. Our house right now is very small, with absolutely no storage. We have 6-1/2 foot ceilings, so there are no top cabinets in the kitchen. As a result, most of our storage is underneath the counter or on top of it, making the whole thing look more cluttered than it is. We also have no closets. NOT. A. SINGLE. ONE. Everything is kept in free standing cabinets or drawers, giving us even less floor space. Since those are filled up, most of the time things just pile on top of each other on top of the storage cabinets. And four people sharing one bathroom? I could throw stuff away every day and never get on top of the clutter in there.
I guess this has kind of turned into a gripe session, hasn't it? Is anyone even still reading? I couldn't blame you if you'd stopped. I just need to get this out!
What I wish for, I suppose, is a family that picks up after themselves, that cleans something when they see it needs to be cleaned instead of just leaving it for mom to do later, who takes the initiative when they would like something done rather than just hoping that I get around to doing it then complaining when it doesn't get done.

I would like my daughter to understand that Mommy has a lot to do. Yes, I can and will sit down with you for 15 minutes and watch a show or play a game, but that doesn't mean I can do it all day. I would like for her to understand that there is only one of me.

I would like my son to understand that he doesn't need to eat every minute of every day and that it's ok to lay down in his crib without a bottle in his mouth for once. I would also like him to understand that when he screams needlessly all day long, it makes me crazy!

I would like my husband to understand that staying home all day with the children is not easy. Yes, I do get to take little breaks throughout the day, but my "bosses" also keep me on track. There is food to prepare, diapers to change, children to be entertained, dishes to wash, laundry to fold, toilets to scrub and dinner to cook. When he gets home, I'm frazzled and more than likely running behind on getting things done. I would like for him to come in and help me out, rather than sit down and relax, although I know that's not exactly fair. He's been at work and done his duty for the day and he deserves some time off. But so do I. I work EVERY SINGLE DAY without a scheduled day off. I would like him to just change a diaper rather than asking if I want him to or complaining that he changed the "last" poopy diaper (excuse me, but I've changed 10 diapers today so it's your turn!!), to just wash some clothes rather than complain that he has no underwear that is clean, or just do something around the house that he can see needs to be done.

I would love to spend time with my family, but there is just too much to do. I feel like I'm doing it alone. When is my day off? It just seems like if I don't do something, then it doesn't get done EVER. I wonder how long I can not clean the bathroom before someone will just decide to clean it? Probably years, I'd imagine. It could sit there, toilet turning green and the sink all sticky and covered in hair, but would anyone clean it? Nope, probably not. That's Mom's job. She's here all day.
And so, my dear reader (if you are still reading) I think I'll stop right there. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

Mommy's Little Parrot

2010-03-17T11:14:00.003-04:00

Evan woke up this morning in a good mood. No, a great mood. He sat around with me and his sister and just had a great time laughing and playing. And talking.

Ok, so he's not really talking. But he is copying a few short words, which is really huge for him. Especially considering all that he usually says is "dadadadadada" or just screams as loud as he can.

I managed to catch a little bit of it on video. I had to bribe him with some Ritz Brown Sugar and Cinnamon crackers (have you tried them yet? So yummy!) but he finally gave in and started copying. His words aren't as clear as they were this morning (I think he's getting bored with saying the same things over and over) but you can tell he's trying.

Once again, he refuses to say "Mama" and instead chooses "dadadadada". Oh well... one of these days he's just going to start saying it!

And, as soon as I stopped recording, he did wave his hand in a sort of "bye-bye" motion, although I can't be sure if he did it on purpose or not. We'll start practicing that next!

First Semester and Already a Quitter

2010-03-12T13:04:00.003-05:00

Hello world. My name is Lauren and I'm a quitter.

Apparently, this going back to school thing is a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. Now, before you jump on my case, I feel the need to explain that I haven't quit completely. Only partially.

Ok, ok, only halfway.

I made the decision over the last few days to drop out of one of my two classes I'm taking this semester due to the fact that it was causing me to ~~freak out over every little detail and make me want to curl up into bed~~ stress out unnecessarily.

Allow me to explain.

The class was Sociology. It was an 8 week, completely online course. I like working at my own pace and being responsible for myself and my work without having to worry about finding someone to watch the kids. I saw an online class as a way to get something accomplished while the kids were asleep or outside playing or on the weekends. Everyone I talked to said that online was the way to go.

And it's not that I disagree with them.

But I do. Just a tad.

Sociology is obviously not a class that I understand. It's the study of humans and their societies. It's nit picky. It's overly complicated. And I just. don't. get it.

I bought my book early and got to reading. When I got to the end of chapter one, I tried out the review questions. Crash and burn. I found myself asking "Did I even read about that?"

I tried not to let it get me down. "Shake it off and try again". I reread the first chapter, then headed on to chapter 2. Again, nada. Not a single question correct. Now I was starting to worry.

During this process, I found out that this particular professor discourages (in fact, doesn't allow) working ahead. Not that that was going to be a big problem now. I couldn't even understand what I was working on now, let alone try to get ahead. I also found out what I would be responsible for: 1 quiz per week, 1 assignment (complete with sources cited for every single answer, in APA format), 1 discussion board topic per week (150-200 words, in APA format) as well as responding to other's discussion topics (75-150 word responses, cited and in APA format) then a 3000 word group paper and PowerPoint presentation as a final.

For an 8 week class. Completely online. I was totally under prepared and overwhelmed.

I freaked out.

It just seemed like so much work (more than necessary in my opinion) for an introductory class. I was spending every waking moment (when I wasn't eating, sleeping, or taking care of my children) on this class and was already feeling like a failure.

And, while I understood the first discussion question, I couldn't find a single source to cite. So I posted a question for the professor asking her for some advice on where to start. I got an answer (a full day later) and the response was simply a link to a web page with a ton of other links, half of which did not work. The rest were sites that required I pay a membership in order to get an answer or sites that were simply full of more links. Still couldn't find anything I could use.

So, I dropped it this morning. The drop deadline for the class is 3/15 so it doesn't count against me and I get a full refund.

Unfortunately for me, I do have to have this class in order to go into the nursing* program. Which means I will have to take it again. I'm planning on taking it in a physical class this time, where I can ask questions and get an answer faster than 24-48 hours later.

I can't help but feel like a quitter. I know it was in my best interest not to truck along in a class that I didn't understand and couldn't get proper help for. I don't want to fail or just scrape by.

For now, I'll just stick to my algebra class and not freak out. I'm enjoying having my sanity back.

I am scheduled to take 2 online classes next semester, but they are an english class and a human growth and development class. Both of those are subjects that I have a full understanding of, so I'm not worried. ((Plus, I already went online and looked up those professors and what they expect and I've found that they have a reasonable amount of work. They don't give away grades, but they don't expect you to be an expert on the subject when you first sign up for the class)).

*Did I mention I was going into nursing? No? Well, then, I'm going into nursing. =)

Laurenology

2010-03-10T11:09:00.002-05:00

You're all tagged! Yes, you, reading this. You’re tagged. Now that you know more about me than you ever wanted to know, play the game, it’s fun! Let others know a little more about yourself, repost this as your name followed by “ology.”

FOODOLOGY:
What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Boston's
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? A toss up between Chik-Fil-A and Taco Bell
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? cereal!
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Mushrooms, but I'm also partial to Hawaiian pizza

BIOLOGY:
Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? A mole from my left shoulder
What is the last heavy item you lifted? My big ole' fat son! =)
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? No
Have you ever fainted? No

BULLCRAPOLOGY:
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Definitely not
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? I don't think I would change it.
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? I think 3, but the one I wear the most I've had for almost 10 years
Last person you talked to? my husband
How many televisions are in your house? Two
What color cell phone do you have? Burnt Orange

FAVORITOLOGY:
Season? Fall
Holiday? Christmas
Day of the week? Saturday or Sunday
Month? that's a tough one... I guess October
Color? Teal!
Drink? Sweet Tea
Alcoholic? Sour Apple-tini

CURRENTOLOGY:
Missing someone? Everyday
What are you listening to? Evan being fussy
What are you watching? White Oleander is on in the background
Worrying about? Passing my Sociology class when I have NO IDEA what it is about.
What’s the last movie you saw? Avatar
Do you smile often? Not as often as I should
If you could change your eye color what would it be? I love my eye color... it changes on it's own
What’s on your wish list for your birthday? A Mommy Day -- pedicure, massage, sleeping in, no fussy children
Can you do a chin-up? Nope
Does the future make you more nervous or excited? both
Have you been in a car wreck? No
Have you caused a car wreck? No
Do you have an accent? I'm sure I do
Last time you cried? Yesterday
Plans tonight? I'm hoping that I'll be feeling well enough for us to go to church. the kids have been passing around some kind of cold and now I have it
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Yes
Name three things you bought yesterday? Nothing, I was home all day
Have you met someone who changed your life? My husband!
For the better or worse? Better, for sure
How did you bring in the New Year? We were watching a movie. By the time it was over it was 12:15.
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? I don't think I would
What songs do you sing in the shower? I Will Carry You
Have you held hands with someone today? Not yet
Who was the last person you took a picture of? Natalie
Are most of the friends in your life new or old? New-ish
Do you like pulpy orange juice? NO
Last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? a long time ago
What were you doing at 12 a.m. last night? Waiting for the servers to allow me to register for my summer classes
What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? "Why won't he stay asleep? I feel like crap"

Evan - 10 Month Update

2010-03-05T08:00:00.003-05:00

My Little Ever-Evers:

You are 10 months old today! My my my, how time does fly. I can't believe you are going to be turning a year old in just 2 short months. You are growing up much to fast!

You started crawling a few weeks ago. You are quite the mover and shaker! Sometimes you start going so fast that you lose your balance...

but you always manage to pull yourself back up and take of yet again!

You move at the speed of light, especially towards all the "no-no's" in the house. One of your favorite things to do is chase your big sister around the house. I love to hear you two laughing and giggling at each other!

One of your new favorite games to play is tilting your head and trying to get us to copy you. It is so adorable to watch you learn to interact with everyone! Most of the time, copying what you did sends you into a fit of laughter that is so contagious!
One day, when it was nice outside, I took your sister out to play. I heard your daddy calling and me from the screen door and this is what I found looking back at me:

You wanted to play too! I hadn't even realized that you would be old enough to play outside on the swing set. So we got you dressed and brought you out! You love being outside (but you aren't a big fan of the wind just yet). Swinging is your new favorite thing to do!

I have to tell you that one of the cutest things you do is fall asleep in your jumper.

You do this on a weekly basis! I'll hear you just a jumping away then suddenly fall silent. I swear, you go from full on jumping to asleep within seconds. I wish I could leave you in there, but I'm sure it's not comfortable after a while.

You are pulling up on everything that you can get your hands on! Sometimes, if mommy can get your attention long enough, you will stand up on your own for a few seconds. You get better at this every day! In no time, you'll be taking your first steps. Boy, is your sister in for it then! =)

You currently weigh around 20 pounds. I have no idea how long you are because you won't lay still long enough for me to measure! But I know you are tall because the outfits that fit you the best are all 12-18 months. Your feet are so big that you recently started wearing some of your sister's socks!

You have 6 teeth that have made their way into that adorable little mouth of yours and you've got 2 more on the way!

When you are hungry (which is pretty much always), you pop your index finger into your mouth. This is usually immediately followed by you yelling at us to get our attention. Waiting for food is not something that you tolerate!

You eat anything you can get your hands on (that even includes the little rocks that make their way into the house. Oh how I love wrangling those away from you!). We just moved you up to stage 3 baby foods since you were eating 2 of the stage 2's at a time. Your bootie (bottle) is still your favorite way to drink, but you are also drinking out of a straw now. You're getting more and more table foods now. Your favorite so far seems to be mashed potatoes... just like your daddy!

Speaking of Daddy, you can currently say the following words:

"Da-DAH" - Daddy
"Dee-Dee" - Natalie (we think you get it from when we call her Nati)
"DAH-da" - Dane Dane or Grandaddy. There is a definite difference between this and Daddy though.

And you have said "Mama" a grand total of........ ONE time. =( C'mon, little man! Who's with you day in and day out? I just wanna hear you say it again! If I look at you and say "Mama" you just giggle and say "Dadadadada".

I love you so much, little man. I'm so excited to see you continue to grow! It is such a privilege to be your Mommy.

(Daddy and Evan)
The two most important men in my life!

Thank You

2010-03-04T10:12:00.004-05:00

Thank you to everyone who left a kind word or sent an email or called me this week. Each day it is getting a little bit easier to get through. A special thank you goes out to Jenn for being the awesome and reassuring friend that she is. She found this poem online for me and I just love it.

A different child,
People notice there's a special glow around you.

You grow surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
In your mother and father's eyes.

And if sometimes
Between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day you'll understand.

You'll understand there was once another child;
A different child
Who was in their hopes and dreams.

That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.

Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.

May hope and love wrap you warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious
How infinitely fragile
Is this life on earth.

One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another Mother's silent grief
Then you, and you alone will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.

When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them with great compassion,
"I know how you feel.
I'm only here because my mother tried again."

Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-03T17:43:00.003-05:00

My Dearest Opal

2010-02-28T08:00:00.000-05:00

Can it really be? Have two years flown by so quickly? It seems like only yesterday that we had to say goodbye. It honestly does. And not a day goes by that I don't think of you.

I wish we had you here with us. There is so much of this life I wanted to share with you, baby girl. I like to think that you are here somehow, watching over us and seeing us live our lives. Our good days, our bad days and all the days in between always seem like they're missing something because you aren't here to share them with us. After all this time, I still try to imagine how all of our lives would have been different if you could have stayed.

Who would you have been today? What would have been your favorite food? Would you be walking? Running? Laughing? I know I shouldn't live in the "what if's", but I find myself there from time to time. In my mind I see you playing outside in the sunshine, running through the grass and giggling. I wish I could kiss your face and brush the hair out of your eyes.

Sometimes it upsets me when people ask me how many children I have. I want to desperately to tell them "Three.", but they don't understand. So I don't say it. It's not that I don't want to tell them all about you. The impact you have had on my life is indescribable! They just don't see why I can't let you go. But they never loved you like I loved you. They don't realize that from the time I found out about you that my whole life changed. I wanted to love you, watch you grow and protect you from all the bad things.

I wish I could have protected you.

But I don't want to sound sad. I'm not. I know you are in a wonderful place, seeing wonders that I can't even dream about. I know you are with our Father and He is caring for you everyday.

And even though I'm sad that you couldn't stay with us, I know that your brother wouldn't be here if you had. He is such a blessing, baby. Sometimes he does drive Mommy a little crazy, but I know that I'm going to miss these days once he is older. I'm trying my hardest to live out every little moment with him, especially since I didn't get to live them out with you. I want him to know how very special he is to me. And one day, when he is old enough, he'll learn about the sister that came before him.

I'm also very grateful that I haven't had to relive the actual date of your leaving just yet. I believe God was really looking out for me when you left on February 29th. It has helped not having to see that actual date approaching on the calendar. I hope that by the time it finally comes around, I'll be able to smile and think of you instead of being sad like I still am now. I never thought I could miss someone so much.

But I do.

Thank you for the impact you've had on my life. As much as I hated saying goodbye, it has brought me to where I am now. I feel like losing you has brought me closer to my walk with the Lord and made me a better person. I hate that it took you leaving for me to realize that I wasn't where I should have been in my life. But maybe that was your purpose in life, baby girl. You helped show me the path I should be taking. And now, more than ever, I know that I'll be seeing you again someday. I cherish the thought of that day.

So, my darling baby, from my heart here on earth to yours in Heaven, I love you. I miss you. I can't wait to see you again. And know that every time I see a rainbow I'll be thinking of you.

Love,
Mommy

Nati-isms February Edition

2010-02-26T10:15:00.000-05:00

Welcome to another hilarious round of Nati-isms! These are the cute little things my daughter says or does throughout the day that make me laugh or warm my heart. I hope you enjoy!

1. We've begun explaining to Natalie about salvation and Jesus (on as basic of terms as we can!). I told her that Jesus died so that she can live in Heaven and that if she believes that He died for her that He will live in her heart forever. Well, she's been using this to her advantage, even though the concept is a little vague for her. One morning, when she woke up, she walked up to me rubbing her belly and said "Mom, baby Jesus in my tummy is really really hungry and wants some oatmeal for breakfast." Yep, she thinks that baby Jesus lives in her tummy just like Evan used to live in mine and is using that as an excuse to get more food. =)

2. She calls Evan "son" instead of "brother". He'll crawl toward her toys and she'll say "Son! Don't touch my toys!" No matter how many times we try to explain to her that he isn't her son, she still says it.

3. I'm not too proud of this one, but it's too funny not to post. Natalie can sing the choruses of both "Party in the USA" and "Tik Tok" and does so during the most random times. The car seat is her favorite place to sing, so most of the time I'm the only one who gets to hear it. I think I like it that way.

That's all I've got for today. I had a bunch more written down but of course I can't find them. So, I'll make sure to have them posted for the next round of Nati-isms!

My nephew is here!

2010-02-25T11:43:00.006-05:00

Yesterday, after a very long, very tiring and partly terrifying labor, my sister in law brought my nephew, Dominic, into the world. To say that she had an ideal labor may be partly accurate, but the delivery went from routine to scary very very quickly.

After being in active labor for around 14 hours, Jamie was finally ready to push. With every push, little Dominic's heart rate would drop, then come back up when the pushing had ended. Then it stopped coming back up all together and stayed in the 80's. I saw first hand how quickly the medical staff moved into action. Within moments, the delivery room was flooded with nurses and doctors. They were maneuvering Jamie back and forth, tilting her bed and trying desperately to get the baby's heart rate to normalize. It wasn't working.

She was rushed back into the OR. They assured us that the situation wasn't an emergency just yet, but they wanted to be cautious. They would continue to monitor her in the OR and, if possible, allow her to deliver naturally there. If the heart rate did not normalize, then she would have a c-section.

Her husband Michael scrubbed up and went to join her. My mother in law, Michael's mother, and myself, were sent to wait out in the waiting room with the rest of the family.

I have never been so terrified in all my life. How many stories do we see every day (especially in the blogging world) that show just how badly things can go wrong? How many times had I watched medical shows showing the dangers of delivery?

Being the only one in the waiting room who had even a little knowledge of what was happening, everyone turned to me with their questions. What was happening? Why was the baby in trouble? Were they going to be ok?

I was dying inside, trying to hold it together and reassure everyone. It was all I could do not to break down crying like the rest of them were. I had to be strong, not just for them, but for myself.

Faith. I had to have faith that God was in control. There was nothing anyone could do but pray, so pray we did.

The minutes crept by. We all watched the doors, hoping for some news. We waited. We prayed. We cried. We dared to be optimistic. We pushed away the dark thoughts.

And then.... a cell phone chimed. It was a text message from Jamie herself. It read:

"He's here. He's healthy. No c-section. I pushed."

I'd never felt a room go from so somber to so ecstatic in microseconds! It literally felt like the room emptied of a huge, oppressing fog and we could all breathe and laugh and cry and thank God for the wonders He had worked through this. Against all the odds, Jamie was able to avoid an emergency c-section and was able to successfully bring her son into the world. Not even the doctor thought she'd be able to do it, but she did.

And today, just 15 hours later, both mommy and baby are recovering well.

There was a time when I thought that nothing could be more miraculous than the birth of my own children. But, I know differently now. Nothing is more miraculous than witnessing first hand the intervention of our Lord into a situation that seemed impossible.

Jamie, Michael, and baby Dominic could all use your prayers as they adjust to life as a family of 3. I'm sure they'll have many challenging days ahead!

Welcome to the world, little Dominic. =)

Dedication

2010-02-25T11:23:00.004-05:00

I absolutely love this song. Ever since I bought Matthew West's latest album this has been one of my favorites. And today, the music video was finally released. ((Reminder: Pause the music to hear this video!))

In memory of my Memaw and my baby girl Opal. I miss you both so much and can't wait to see you again!

((I hate that even the smallest window YouTube offers is just too big for my blog page. Sometimes having 3 columns is more of a hassle than something helpful.))

Mom of the Year Award....NOT!!

2010-02-13T21:31:00.003-05:00

I can almost guarantee that I will never win a Mom of the Year Award (if such an award ever existed!). Why, you ask?

In picking up Evan from the floor yesterday as he was crawling, I somehow managed to dislocate his elbow. Poor little guy. I knew something was wrong when he wasn't interested in eating his lunch. I thought maybe he was tired, so I rocked him to sleep and just held him. He'd sleep for a few minutes, then start crying pitifully.

Finally, we gave up on trying to make him sleep so I laid him on the ground and tried to figure out what was wrong. He didn't have a fever and although part of his gums were swollen from another tooth making it's way down it didn't seem to bother him too much.

Then I noticed that he wasn't moving his left arm. I held a toy out in front of him and he'd only reach for it with his right. Gently, I checked to see if any bones were broken. They didn't seem to be and it wasn't tender to the touch. But he still wouldn't move it. I tried to move it for him and he started screaming. He couldn't roll over, couldn't support himself on his hands and knees and certainly couldn't crawl. It was the most pitiful sight I'd ever seen and it brought me to tears. I called the nurse's line and they called me back within 5 minutes.

"Bring him in right away in case we have to do some x-rays."

I felt like the worst mom in the whole world! I called my husband, sobbing my way through the story. I felt just awful! He calmed me down and reminded me that I didn't do this on purpose and that he was sure Evan would be just fine.

We made an emergency run to the pediatrician's office where the promptly put his elbow back in place, no x-rays needed. There were, of course, tears and sobs because of the whole situation. I think me being upset made him more upset about it! The doctor reassured me that it was fairly common for this to happen (I believe he said that this type of incident is called a "nursemaid's dislocation") and not to worry too much about it, but that we'd have to be on the lookout because now that it's happened once, it could happen again more easily. Great. Guess who's paranoid of picking up her son now?

Five minutes after being "readjusted" Evan was his usual self. We both felt much better!

So, yeah, I'm not holding my breath to be nominated for any awards this year. Unless they start giving out "Unlucky You" trophies!

Cardboard Testimonies

2010-02-07T14:55:00.004-05:00

This has apparently been on a few blogs, but I saw it today for the very first time over on Stacy's. It is so very powerful and moving and God used it to open up my eyes today. I pray that it touches your heart as well.

My cardboard testimony would say this:
"Hoarding control of my life led to OCD, anxiety and depression...
Giving the control to God has set me free!"

What would yours say?

Decisions, Decisions

2010-02-06T20:22:00.004-05:00

My first college class starts Monday night, and already I'm considering changing my program of study.

Why you ask?

I've been looking into the kinds of jobs I can get with an Associate in Science degree in Criminal Justice. It pretty much boils down to becoming an officer of some kind, especially in the area where I live. Becoming a cop isn't something I've ever wanted to do. (For those of you who know me, can you imagine me carrying a gun? You can stop laughing now.)

What I'm most interested in is the forensics side of criminal justice. Unfortunately, the more research I do the more disheartened I become. If I want a career that involves forensics, I'll need at minimum a Bachelor's degree in some kind of lab science. If I had all the time and money in the world, I'd go for it. But I don't. I'm looking to get some kind of degree and get a job by the time the kids are in school (so, within the next 3 years.)

So then, I looked into working in the court system as a clerk or what have you. A majority of those require degrees within the legal or business schools of study, not criminal justice. Plus, that isn't really the kind of career I would want.

Now I'm thinking that maybe I've picked the wrong program of study period. I don't want to be a police woman or a parole officer, but I don't have the time or money to invest into becoming a forensic specialist.

What's a girl to do?

I started looking at the other programs of study offered and came across the A.S. in Nursing. My mom is a phlebotomist and my cousin is a L&D nurse, so the concept isn't completely foreign to me. I know I don't want to do anything in emergency medicine, but I thought maybe working in a pediatrician's office or maybe even in urgent care wouldn't be so bad.

The prerequisites for this program and criminal justice are about the same (so my math class will still be necessary!) and the time of completion would be the same as well. Of course, it's more intensive as far as the classes go and I'll have to actually apply for the program and be accepted, but I don't really see that as becoming a problem.

Now my big question is, do I change my program of study before I even start my first class? Am I jumping the gun? Am I just nervous?

Before I do anything, I'll talk to one of my advisors about my options. I guess it's a good thing that I'm considering this now and not months down the road when I've already begun working towards one degree.

Blog Roll

2010-02-03T11:11:00.003-05:00

Ok people... the blog roll is up and running! Check out the left hand side of my blog. I'm still adding to it, so if I've overlooked your blog (or you just want to be added!) leave a comment and I'll get'cha on there.

Evan - 9 month update!

2010-02-02T10:56:00.006-05:00

Evan is almost 9 months old. It's hard to believe that he's been here with us now for as long as I carried him inside me!

We haven't been to his 9 month appointment yet, so I don't know his exact weight/height. At his 7 month appointment he was in the 75th percentile for height and the 40th for his weight. Looks like we're gonna have a tall boy on our hands!

He's currently most comfortable in 12-18 month clothes, but he can still wear some of his 9 month stuff.

He's learning to drink from a sippy cup and we're working on teaching him how to drink from a straw. On a perfect day, he'll eat a total of 3-4 jars of stage 2 baby foods and drink around 4 or 5 six-ounce bottles. We still get up at least once a night for a diaper change and a "bootie" as we call it.

Oh, and he learned a new trick! Check it out:
(edited to add: Scroll down a little bit and click pause on the music player (left hand side) so you can hear the video!)

He finally started crawling on January 30th. He's doing things so much later than Natalie did, but he's on track for development. I guess it's true what they say: boys do things later than girls do.

For the past few days I've been relearning how to baby proof a house (which should have been done weeks ago). In fact, I just now put the covers on all the electrical outlets. It's been so long since it's had to be done! But he's so curious and into everything... we're chasing him around all day saying "No no Evan!"

He's also got 6 little toofers that are just too adorable for words. He doesn't like to show them, but if you put your finger in there you'll feel them for sure!

My little man is growing up!

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-27T20:51:00.005-05:00

Now you see them...

...now you don't!

Mama's big ole boy! He pulls himself up on everything.

I wish I had a picture of my dad to put right here. The resemblance is a little scary! I'll have to steal one of Dad's faceb00k page.

The Daily Grind

2010-01-26T11:02:00.002-05:00

I've been trying to adjust my daily habits lately and it's one of the hardest things I've done in a while. Normally, I do pretty much the bare minimum to get by during the day because it just seems like the more time I spend cleaning, the faster things seem to get dirty.

So yesterday, I attempted a new morning routine in the hopes of jump starting a new way to spend my days. It started by getting up before the kids got up (8 am) and starting my day with Bible study and prayer. Then, I was supposed to exercise for at least five minutes (which I barely accomplished. Can we say Out Of Shape??). After that, I planned out how I wanted the rest of my day to go.

For the next 8 hours, I deep cleaned my kitchen. It was a pot scrubbing, dish washing, floor mopping, and counter disinfecting nightmare. I can't think of the last time I spent that much energy on only one room in my house. How does it get so dirty?

Once Josh got home and dinner was done, I was pooped. My head was killing me, I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was climb into bed and go to sleep. I guess it probably doesn't help that I'm still having withdrawals from my medications and I'm PMS'ing.

(Speaking of which, I made the decision last night to go back on my medicine. My emotions are all out of whack and after two weeks of withdrawals enough is enough. I should have enough of it saved up to last me until my next yearly appointment when I can get a refill.)

I had every intention this morning of getting up and doing the same thing today, with the cleaning focus being on the family rooms.

The alarm went off at 8am, and I slammed down the snooze button! My body is incredibly sore, my head still hurts and I'm just mentally not able to focus. I feel bad for not toughing it out and giving up on only the second day.

Here's what I need: accountability! My goal is to write a blog each morning after doing my Bible study so that I can get my mind focused on what I need to do. I need to hold myself accountable, and if putting it all out there for anyone to read is the way to do it, then that's what I'm going to do.

My goals for the rest of the day are as follows: Bible study, unload the dishwasher, go grocery shopping and cook dinner. I ought to be able to accomplish that much at least!

A Student Again

2010-01-24T00:18:00.003-05:00

I made the decision recently that I want to go to school. After graduating from high school almost 7 years ago, I decided that I would work full time while Josh took full time college courses as well as working part time. It was a difficult time for us both. I remember there were days when he would be gone for classes by the time I woke up in the morning, and wouldn't get home until around 2am after working a shift at Home Depot. Sometimes, we would go days without talking to each other in person.

He earned his Bachelor's degree less than a year after Natalie was born. Since then, we've been enjoying the additional family time that comes along with a steady, full time job without the additional stresses of studying on top of it.

Now that our family is complete (at least for now) we'd like to continue to take steps in the direction of buying a house, paying off our debt, and enjoying the fruits of our labors.

In order to accomplish those goals, I thought it was time that I looked into earning a degree of my own. I plan on going back to work once both kids are in school. The last thing that I want to do is go back to a retail or customer service job. Without having a degree, I wouldn't have too much of a choice in the matter.

After looking into my options, I've chosen to work towards an Associate in Science degree in the field of Criminal Justice Technology. It's something that has always interested me.

The total cost for the 64 credit hours will be around $6000, not including books. Since I'll be spacing out the classes over time, we'll be able to pay for them as they come and not have to fork over too much money at a time.

(This is especially good, since so far I don't qualify for any of the scholarships that I've researched. I'll be looking into some Pell grants once we get our W2's in the mail.)

With all that being said, I went in on Friday to take my placement tests, which I was required to take since my SAT scores were only slightly out of date. To be honest with you, I was a little scared about the math portions. In all the practice tests I'd taken, the Sentence and Reading comprehension portions as well as the elementary algebra sections were fairly straightforward, but the college level mathematics were a lot harder than I ever imagined. I vaguely remember learning some of that stuff in high school, but it's been 8 years since my last math class so naturally the details were slightly fuzzy.

I figured that I'd ace the English portions of the placement test, but would probably have to take Intermediate Algebra (which wouldn't count towards my degree) before being able to take College Algebra (which would count).

To my surprise, not only did I qualify for the English class that I need, but I surpassed even my wildest imagination on the math sections! I actually qualified for College Trigonometry! How insane is that?

I humbly turned down that class in lieu of taking College Algebra, especially since I'll only need the one math class to earn my degree.

I signed up for my very first class (College Algebra) which begins on Feb 8th. I've also signed up for a psychology class that begins in March. I may end up dropping the psychology one though. I'm going to see how well I can keep up with a college class, running my household, and taking care of not only my 2 children but also my nephew during the week until summer break. I don't want to overload myself!

Over the summer, I'll definitely be able to take 2-3 classes. Then, in the fall, Natalie will start Pre-K so I'll be able to take more than one class as well.

So, after 7 years of no school, I am once again a student.

Pray for me!

Better

2010-01-21T12:13:00.003-05:00

Last night was much better than the last few. Evan got up around 2-ish (I think) to have a bottle and a diaper change, then went back to bed. About an hour and a half later he was up again. I went in, picked him up, brought him to bed with me and got him back to sleep. Then, took him back to his room. No bottle!

He actually slept for the rest of the night and I woke up this morning much more rested.

Let's hope he keeps this up!

Evan Sleep Issues

2010-01-20T10:57:00.003-05:00

The last few nights have been rough. My sweet little boy has decided that waking up just once a night for a diaper change and a bottle just isn't enough. For the past couple nights, he's been up at least 3 times and each time he thinks it's time to eat again.

My best guess is that he's hitting a growth spurt or something, but he hasn't eaten every 2 hours since he was about 8 weeks old! I'd begun to enjoy my uninterrupted sleep!

Maybe he's also not liking the fact that we lowered his crib and took away his bumpers. Little Man is starting to pull up on everything so we figured it was time. Now he can see right out of his crib and I imagine it might be uncomfortable to him if he's sleeping right up against the bars.

(On a side note, he still isn't crawling. He just rolls everywhere that he needs to go! I have a feeling that he's going to just one day pull himself up into a standing position and start walking.)

So, I need some mommy advice. Do I continue to get up with him, feeding him whenever he thinks he's hungry and sacrificing my sleep? Or, is this one of those situations where I need to just let him cry himself back to sleep?

Honestly, I don't remember Natalie doing this. Maybe my mind blocked it out! =D

Decluttering: The Good, The Bad, and the Really Really Ugly

2010-01-19T11:44:00.005-05:00

Decluttering my home is my new goal. Ever since I first found FlyLady I've been dying to just rid myself of all the unneeded crap that I've accumulated throughout my life.

Also, watching Hoarders really hits home with me! I don't want to be one of those ladies that has to hire a crew to clean out her house because 50+ cats have gone missing and darn it all if they aren't smashed to tiny bits underneath boxes of random crap. Ick. Seriously, am I the only one who finds this show both appalling and somewhat hilarious at the same time? Maybe I find it funny because deep down I don't want to accept the fact that I sympathize with these people.

After all, I'm the one who kept a pair of pink and blue giraffe safety scissors from when I was 5 because "I might need them someday".

Anyway, since Josh was home from work all day yesterday, he deemed the whole day as "National Clean Out the Storage Totes/Computer Desk/Smelly Cars Day". These are tasks that I have been putting off for quite some time. I mean, it's not like I don't want them cleaned... I just have other things to do like change diapers and play Mario with Natalie. You know, important stuff.

We started in the morning and finished around sundown.

The Good
My computer desk is practically sparkling! There is room to actually write now, rather than piles of old Reese's wrappers, non-working pens, boxes of old check duplicates and computer software that is 7 years out of date. We also cleaned out 4 storage totes and ended up with only 1 semi-full tote. 5 bags full of junk made it's way out to our garbage cans and we've made some progress on sorting out Josh's sports stuff.

The interior of our cars look so much better. They had become a dumping ground for old toys and happy meal boxes of late.

The Bad
While cleaning out the desk, we found some of my paperwork from my pregnancy with Opal. Months ago, I thought I had gathered it all up and placed it in a memory box which now resides on a shelf in my storage room. Running into more of it wasn't something I was expecting and it really through me for a loop. Too make it worse, I've been weaning myself off of Z0l0ft so my emotions are very easily triggered. It also doesn't help that we're approaching all the anniversaries: the day I found out I was pregnant (Feb 8th), the day the miscarriage started (Feb 21st), the day I lost Opal (Feb 29th) and the day of my surgery (March 4th).

For about 5 minutes or so I was no good to anyone, just basically a crying mess on my husband's shoulder.

Doesn't this ever get any easier?

The Really Really Ugly
For a few weeks now, my car has had an underlying odor that we haven't been able to identify. Being the procrastinator that I am, it never really occurred to me that cleaning out my car might find and therefore solve the problem. I was just content to stick an air freshener on my rear view mirror and proclaim "Problem solved!"

Josh wasn't buying that.

While he started on my car, I was helping Nati put up some of her toys from the backyard. Suddenly I hear him call something out to me, but I don't really understand what he said.

I turned to look at him and see him holding up a plastic Walmart bag that is wrapped around something.

The word he's calling out to me? Eggs.

My stomach lurched. When did I buy eggs? Why did I forget them in the car? Without opening the bag (we weren't crazy enough to do that) we peered through the plastic and found the Use By date.

Are you ready for this?

11/09/09.

O.M.G. I could have died of embarrassment right then and there. Sometime in November, the half dozen eggs I bought got lost in the back of my car and I totally forgot about them. For two months. Ew.

Needless to say, once the eggs were removed and the whole car thoroughly Febreezed and vacuumed, my car now has a much nicer smell.

And the "I told you so" look on Josh's face will probably be there for many weeks to come.

A Wonderful Birthday!

2010-01-16T22:52:00.005-05:00

Have I ever told you that I have one of the sweetest husbands on the face of the earth?

Well I do!

For my birthday yesterday, Josh took me down to St. Augustine for my very first night away from both kids. We stayed at a very cozy (and apparently haunted, but more on that later) bed and breakfast just off St. George Street right in the heart of the historic district. This is the same B&B that we stayed in for our 3rd wedding anniversary back in 2007. In fact, we even stayed in the very same room!

We got down there on Friday afternoon around 4 and checked in. Our room (the Pullman) is just off the side of the house with it's own entrance. Josh, being the romantic man that he is, arranged for a dozen long stemmed red roses to be placed in our room, along with chocolate covered strawberries and a bottle of sparkling white wine. Isn't he a sweetie? =)

After checking in, we headed out to see the infamous St. Augustine Lighthouse. I'm a big Ghost Hunters fan, so I was excited just to be somewhere that they had actually investigated! We made the 219 step climb to the top (which just about killed us both) and took in the view from the observation deck. It was windy and chilly, but so beautiful! I could have stayed up there forever... if it wasn't so darn high! We also toured the rest of the grounds, including the keeper's house and the woods just next door.

Is that the infamous lighthouse ghost?? Nope... just my husband who was kind enough to pose for this shot. He's braver than me! I don't think I would have been able to lean over that railing!

On our way out, we stopped at the gift shop. I was looking at the books and found one about how St. Augustine is supposedly one of the most haunted destinations in America. I open it up to a random page, which just so happened to feature our very B&B as one of the most haunted B&B's in town! Crazy right? I had to buy it! =)

This is part of the creepy cemetery that's only about 50 feet from our B&B. Creepy!

((Thought I should say this: I don't believe in ghosts. Period. I just think the whole investigation things are interesting and I love reading the background stories behind why people think places are haunted. In my opinion, your soul cannot stay behind on this earth once you die. You either go one place or the other!))

For dinner, we ate at the Columbia Restaurant which was just fabulous. I had a chicken and stuffed pasta dish while he had fried shrimp (which he always seems to get no matter where we go!). We ate there last time, but somehow the food didn't quite stand up to our memory of it from a few years ago.

Heading out for dinner!

This morning, after eating breakfast and checking out, we headed a few blocks down to the Lightner Museum. On the way, we walked past Flagler College which is just beautiful! I fall in love with the buildings every time we go to St. Augustine! I always told my mother that I wanted to go to college there because I liked the courses they offered, but it was really because I'd love to look at the buildings everyday!

The museum was really beautiful, but hasn't changed much since I was there 10 years ago. I guess that's to be expected with a museum, but it really seemed like they hadn't added a whole lot in that time either.

I want this couch! It was one of my favorite exhibits.

All too soon, our time away from the kids was over. It was the first time I'd spent the night away from Evan and only the second time I've spent the night away from Natalie! We got home and both of them wouldn't let me out of their sight. I missed them terribly! =)

Overall, I'd have to say this has been my favorite birthday celebration yet! Josh did a really good job of planning this one out.

After all, how many times do you get to turn 25?

In a Nutshell

2010-01-14T08:00:00.000-05:00

I suppose since I decided to take an impromptu blogging vacation a few months ago that I owe it to you guys (and myself) to do a mini update.

Here are the last 3 months in a nutshell:

- Our family vacation to Disney World in October was an absolute blast! Evan had a great time, even though he slept throughout most of it. He was just hanging out in his carrier or in the stroller the entire time. I think my favorite part of the whole trip was when Nati and I went to the Magic Kingdom all by ourselves. We rode everything that she wanted to ride and did anything she wanted to do. Of course, that included riding the teacups about 3 times! We met the princesses and even got to watch the fireworks together before catching the bus back to our resort. I can't wait until we can go back to Disney again!

- Halloween was a bit of a bust this year. Nati kept changing her mind about what she wanted to be and then wasn't entirely happy about being Tinkerbell again this year. We drove 1-1/2 hours to my aunt and uncle's neighborhood to trick or treat, thinking that it was going to be a great time. After 3 houses, Natalie announced that she had enough candy and was ready to go home. Again, Evan slept through most of it. =)

- Christmas was a blast! We had our tree up the weekend after Thanksgiving and by Christmas my whole house smelled fantastic. Evan was happy just to sit in his bouncer and look at the lights all day, while Natalie couldn't stop rearranging the ornaments on the tree. She wanted to put some tinsel on, so we took a morning and put on an entire package of it. Once we were done, I asked Natalie what she thought of it, to which she responded "It looks like spider webs and it's making me mad." Needless to say, we spent the next 15 minutes pulling tinsel off of the tree.

We took the kids to see Santa about 3 days before Christmas. Natalie was all excited to sit on his lap and tell him what she wanted him to bring her (a yo yo and 2 "hupa loops"). When it was finally our turn -- MELTDOWN! She wanted nothing to do with him! So, we sat Evan on Santa's lap to get a few pictures and then they offered us something special. Santa left the room and we sat the kids down in front of the window. Little did they know that Santa was sneaking up behind them in the window.

Isn't that precious?

- And finally, in the coming weeks, I'm going to be an aunt for the very first time! My sister in law and her husband are expecting a baby boy sometime towards the end of February! I can't wait to see him for the first time.

Mom is Ok!

2010-01-13T22:45:00.003-05:00

My brother just let me know that he talked to Mom. She is absolutely fine and didn't even think people were going to be worried about her. I guess she doesn't know her family very well at all! =)

Thank you for all the prayers!

Mini Update

2010-01-13T17:03:00.002-05:00

Still no word from Mom, but after reading through pages and pages of news reports it appears that all cruise ships destined for Haiti have been rerouted and so far there are no reports of any cruise passengers having been involved whatsoever in the earthquake.

It'd still be good to hear Mom's voice right about now! =/

Quick Prayer Request

2010-01-13T10:39:00.003-05:00

Well, my first big post back was going to be a "catch up" of all the stuff I've missed blogging about: how big my kiddoes are getting, Christmas adventures and pictures, my daughter's unique hatred of Santa, and just general day to day life here.

But first, I need to ask a favor.

My mom is currently on a cruise that was bound for, among other places, Haiti. Since an earthquake has recently rocked that very location, it makes us just a tad bit nervous. Now, we haven't heard of any cruise ships being damaged or any reports of passengers of cruise ships being missing so that in itself is a huge relief.

But Mom turned off her cell just before getting on the boat so we can't get in contact with her. And, she neglected to tell us exactly which boat she was going to be on, so we can't even call the boat just to make sure.

I'm sure she's just fine, but it would be nice to hear from her before my grandfather goes crazy with worry.

So, if you could, please say a quick prayer for my mom as well as the countless thousands of people in Haiti. I can't imagine how devastating it could be to be in the midst of something like that and I'm sure they can use all the prayers that they can get!

A Much Needed Break

2010-01-12T14:35:00.004-05:00

It has been far too long since I've written something here, but I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the time off.

Has it really been almost 3 months? Craziness. =)

I'm very much looking forward to getting back into the groove of blogging again. I am, however, a little afraid to look at my Google Reader... I'm sure I have close to 1000 unread posts to catch up on.

So, look for a new post tomorrow. And, if all goes as planned, at least one every few days after that.

Schmuck

2009-10-14T16:58:00.003-04:00

That's how I feel.

Yesterday was supposed to be Opal's first birthday.

And I forgot.

Evan Update ((cross post))

2009-10-06T21:57:00.002-04:00

We got in to see his pediatrician today and he confirmed that Evan just has a cold. No ear infection, no swine flu, no bronchitis... just a bad case of the sniffles.

He said we should be good to go for our trip to Orlando!

On the way home, I got stuck in some awful traffic. It usually takes me between 45 minutes - 1 hour to get from the pediatrician's office all the way to home, but today it took over 2 hours. I got stuck behind an accident on the highway and it seriously took over an hour to move .4 miles.

UGH!

So, needless to say, my plans of getting all my laundry done today so I can pack tomorrow pretty much flew out the window.

Wish me luck!

Poor Little Evers

2009-10-06T11:00:00.004-04:00

My favorite little man is sick. I can't tell you how much it hurts my heart to see him this way. His eyes water, his nose is congested, he coughs all day and now he's got a low grade fever to boot.

Can't the poor little guy catch a break?

I just put a call in to his pediatrician to see if there is anything else I can do for him besides snuggle him. Hopefully, if he needs to be seen, they can get me in today or tomorrow. Otherwise I'll have to stay behind while everyone else heads down to Orlando until he can be seen. The last thing I want to do is drag him through a theme park sick, especially since he'll need to rest.

The good thing about it is that, even if he can't go to the parks, there will be 4 of us there to switch off taking care of him in the hotel so that at least Natalie can have a good time.

It's so different now having an infant and a toddler. When Nati was a baby, she never got sick because she was never around other kids. Now that she's older, she gets sick more and in return Evan gets sick more.

So, while I'm waiting to hear back from the nurse, I'm going to head off and do some laundry. Then I need to make my lists and start packing. Then, this afternoon, I find out if I'm going to be an aunt to a niece or a nephew!! I can't wait!!

Three Days And Counting

2009-10-05T10:09:00.003-04:00

This past week has gone by way too fast! I've been so busy trying to get the kids well (yes, we're battling colds for either the second or third week straight. I honestly can't remember which!) and busy trying to keep up with the housework that our Disney trip has totally snuck up on me.

I'm a total planner. I make lists, schedules, and have to have everything organized. I suppose it's part of my OCD. It's super important to me not to forget ANYTHING on this trip, especially traveling with a mostly potty trained toddler and a 5 month old.

((Did I mention Evan turned 5 months old today?! Big ole' boy!))

So here we are at T-minus 3 days until we arrive at Disney and I don't even think any of my clothes are washed. I don't really know where my suitcases are either. (Ok, I do know where one is, but it still has stuff in it... from my last trip... to the hospital... to give birth... five months ago. Oh how I wish I was joking.)

There are still a bunch of things that I need to buy for our trip as well.

1. Bike lock for the stroller. Ain't nobody gonna steal my brand new double Graco while we're down there!
2. Rain cover for the stroller.
3. Breakfast foods and snacks.
4. Sun hat for my little man.
5. Diapers and formula.
6. Crazy medicine and birth control (because the last thing I need on this trip is to lose my mind and end up getting pregnant at the same time. I'd love more kids... but not at this very second.)

I'm sure there's tons more, but my mind is fried.

So, today I need to clean my kitchen, fold laundry, iron Josh's shirts, make dinner, and somehow get to the grocery store.

Wish me luck!

Vacation Prep

2009-10-02T11:15:00.003-04:00

...or "Why Does This Always Happen Before Going on Vacation?"

There is a thing in my mother's side of the family known as the "Daniels' Luck". It seems that people on that side of my family (myself included) have the absolute worst luck when it comes to things like buying gifts, taking vacations, or trying to plan something.

For example, whenever I buy something new from a store, I automatically know that something is going to be wrong with it. Usually, it's something trivial and doesn't affect whatever the item is. But regardless, there is always something wrong. I bought a two sided lipstick tube once that had a moisturizer at one end and the color at the other. Well, my tube was labeled wrong so the color was where the moisturizer should have been and vice versa. No biggie.

Oh, and then I bought Josh's cousin a Disney board game for Christmas one year. When the box was opened on Christmas Eve we discovered that the Minnie Mouse metal game piece didn't have any ears.

I'm never allowed to be the person to pick out anything new, whether that be shopping carts at the store or a new car. And I'm absolutely not allowed to touch anything first, lest it break! I was forbidden to touch my mother in laws plants in her garden when she first put them in.

It's mostly become a joke now. Anytime something goes wrong, I'm the first to say "It's not my fault! I didn't touch it!"

The other aspect of my Daniels' Luck is that I always get a UTI 1-2 weeks before we are going on vacation. Seriously. It started with my honeymoon (fun, right?) back in 2004. In 2005 I got one before our week long trip to Tennessee. I had one before our 1 year anniversary that same year. And the last 3 times we've taken a vacation, I've had to make a quick stop to the Urgent Care Clinic to get an antibiotic.

So, of course, since we're leaving for Disney next week I've got another one. Luckily, my regular doctor is going to see me this afternoon so I don't have to spend $50+ at the urgent care place.

Happy October!

2009-10-01T15:14:00.003-04:00

Ah, fall. How I've missed it. The days become less sweltering and more enjoyable here in the south. In fact, it reached somewhere around 50 degrees yesterday morning! It was back up in the 80's by the afternoon, but us Floridians aren't used to cold weather so you know I had the heater on until then!

October is a special month for us. This year, on October 16th, we are going to be celebrating 5 years of being married. It's a beautiful thing! While we don't have anything huge planned for the specific day, we are going to be spending 5 days down in Disney the week before. We're total Disney nerds... how many people do you know that like to spend their anniversary celebrating with 50,000 of their closest friends and their children, shuttling back and forth on buses to wait in line for a ride they've been on dozens of times in their lifetime? Me! Me! Me! =)

It's going to be a much needed break. The four of us are hanging on to a cold that just will not go away. Natalie is the first one to really start feeling better, so she doesn't understand why the rest of us still feel like crap. Poor little Evan won't fall asleep today unless I'm holding on to him! And of course, Nati thinks that Evan-sleeping-on-Mommy's-chest time is Let's-yell-really-loud-and-poke-at-Evan's-face time! Needless to say, I'm a bit frazzled today.

As long as we are all healthy by next week, I'll be fine. I can't imagine being sick down in Orlando. What a great way to wreck a vacation!

Count Choculitis

2009-09-30T13:49:00.002-04:00

I love Count Chocula. I think if he were a real person, I'd just have to marry him so I could enjoy the chocolate-marshmallow goodness all year round. Because, you know, my waist line would just love me for that! Sorry Boo and Franken Berry, but as far as breakfast cereal goes, you're just glorified versions of year round breakfast cereal brands. Gimmicky even. Nice try!

Sadly, Count Chocula is not a real person. In fact, he chooses to only show up in my life for a few weeks each year in the fall. Not exactly relationship material if you ask me.

But oh, how I love him! Each year, as I start seeing the Halloween and Fall decorations appear in stores, I begin looking for my favorite vampire down the cereal aisle.

A few days ago, I found him! There he was, sitting on a shelf along with Franken Berry just begging to be taken home. (Oddly enough, Boo Berry was nowhere to be found. Did he finally give up on me, I wonder?)

Quickly, I snatched him up (and Franken too, for Natibug and the hubs) and we made our way home. One bowl and some milk later and it was time to enjoy.

Unfortunately, something has happened to Count Chocula. In the past, the marshmallows would get more and more delicious the more milk they absorbed. They turned into sugary little clouds of goodness. But now, they are hard. Very reminiscent of Lucky Charms marshmallows. And that irresistible taste? Meh. Not so much.

Has my palette finally out grown this once loved breakfast staple? Or has "the man" tampered with the recipe?

I don't know. But I have an acute case of Count Choculitis that doesn't seem to have a cure.

Nati-isms Sept 29,2009

2009-09-29T10:53:00.007-04:00

Welcome to another amazing round of Nati-isms! I've been keeping a running tab on the totally cute things that my 3-1/2 year old says on a daily basis that make me laugh and warm my heart.

So without further ado.... welcome to the mind of a toddler!

1. Evan was crying recently in the car on the way somewhere (Mommy brain has set in and now I can't quite remember exactly why we were in the car!). Natalie, the ever helpful big sister, grabbed his flailing hands and said "Don't cry, Evan. I'm just picking my boogers!" Nice.

2. Nati recently saw a picture of her daddy back in his senior year of high school. It hangs on the wall at my in laws house, but she just noticed it a few days ago. She ran up to the picture and said "Look! It's a whole new daddy!!" I guess we've changed a lot more than we realized in the past 7 years. =)

3. I got brave the other day and decided to fix up my hair similar to this for church. I was pretty proud of the result, until Natalie critiqued me saying "Mommy, your hair's kinda crazy. You like a little bit like a guy." Why thank you, dear. That's exactly the look I was going for.

4. Nati uses the word "certainly" more than any other kid I know. For example, we were at my aunt's new house when she needed to go potty. When we got into the bathroom, she said "This is a big bathroom! And certainly they have a shower, too!" Or she'll say "I'm certainly hungry. Can I have some candy?"

5. This one is my favorite. We were driving past a church in our area that has 3 wooden crosses set up on the side of the road. Natalie smiled and said "Look! Jesus signs!"

Life Gets In The Way

2009-09-21T18:51:00.003-04:00

Another long hiatus from blogging. Honestly, there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't want to sit down and type something out. It's not that I didn't have the desire. I just couldn't come up with anything to say.

Does anyone really want to hear about the mundane, day-to-day life of a stay at home mom?

I enjoyed my break from the blog quite a bit, but I think it's time to start it up again.

I'm not even going to attempt to catch up on the past few weeks (mostly because it was all pretty much business as usual!). However, I am going to post an Evan update for my own records because I can never seem to find his baby book to fill out when I'm thinking about it.

At his four month appointment, Evan weighed in at 15 lb 5 ounces. He's in the 50th percentile for his weight and the 75th percentile for his height. We've got a big boy on our hands!

He can now flip from back to tummy and tummy to back whenever he wants, although sometimes he forgets and screams his head off to be flipped over.

His first tooth broke through on Friday!! I can't believe it. Not even five months old and already getting teeth. I'm just glad I'm not breastfeeding anymore! Yikes!

He's eating rice and oatmeal cereal like a champ and next week we'll start with some stage one veggies!

They all grow up far too fast. I can't believe how big he's gotten so quickly!

One Year Ago Today

2009-08-25T20:21:00.003-04:00

It was exactly one year ago today that two little pinks lines showed up on a pregnancy test.

I was scared out of my mind. It had been 6 months since we lost Baby Opal and, even though I was so excited to be pregnant again, the loss of my precious baby was still very fresh in my mind. I'd go from being excited one minute, to anxious, to terrified, then back again.

Once you experience the loss of a child, there is a part of your heart that never fully heals. Sure, there'll be days when you don't even think about it. But then something happens... a song comes on the radio, see a movie that involves a loss (fair warning, if you haven't seen Time Traveler's Wife yet, bring tissues) or you happen to pull the shirt you were wearing the day you found out the baby was gone out of the dryer and all of the sudden you are right back in the middle of the emotions that go along with it.

The innocence of pregnancy is gone. Even though you try your best, sometimes you can't help but imagine the worst. Each day, each trip to the bathroom, puts fear and doubt into your heart. Fear permeates its way through your life, making the weeks in between your check ups unbearable.

But with each day, hope also blooms. Every hour, every minute that you go without something happening is like the best Christmas present you've ever received. And then, you hear your baby's heartbeat. You see them on the monitor. You feel those first flutters, then the ever stronger kicks and nudges.

As the months pass, you anticipate the arrival of your little one and the memory of the pain and fear subsides. You never fully forget, but life continues. You move on.

As I sit here typing this, my miracle boy is sleeping soundly in his crib. I worry about him teething already (no kidding! 3 little chompers are on their way in). I worry if he's getting enough to eat, if he's happy enough and if he's progressing the way he should.

I can tell you it's been quite some time since I really sat down and though of Opal. I wear my necklace and earrings that Josh bought for me to remind me of her most days and there are still some reminders around the house, but overall I like to think that she'd want me to be happy with my life. She knows as well as I do that I'll see her again one day.

Then, today, another one of those reminders came up.

You see, on this day, the one year anniversary of finding out that we were pregnant with our little man, Selah's newest CD finally got released. It was the one they were going to release almost a year ago, but it has been delayed a couple of times. This song is on that CD.

I can't tell you how many times I watched that video and cried my eyes out in those months after losing Opal. The song became such a comfort for me. It helped me to remember that even though I never got to hold her in my arms or do all the little things I would have wanted to do with her, God is still in control and and He is taking care of her, just like He is taking care of all of us.

Even after all this time, the tears still flowed. But now, I am able to cry in joy for knowing that my baby is flying with her angel wings through the heavens, praising God and glorifying Him. And one day, we will all join her and worship right along side of her.

Such a short time

Such a long road

All this madness

But I know

That the silence

Has brought me to His voice

And He says...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning

Walked her through the parted seas

Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes

Who could love her like this?

I don't want to take one more day for granted. My children here on earth need me to be the courageous, Godly woman that I should be. They deserve my whole heart. They deserve to be protected and loved and cared by Mommy and Daddy, while Opal is being watched over by her Father. I cannot wait for my whole family to be reunited once again!

The Love Dare

2009-08-20T12:00:00.003-04:00

If you haven't seen the movie Fireproof yet, I suggest you stop whatever it is you are doing and go rent it. Immediately! Laundry can wait. Dishes can soak. Ok, eat some lunch, but then go rent it!

Josh and I have been wanting to see this movie for a very long time. Last week, he surprised me by renting it and buying the Love Dare books (one for each of us) to go along with it.

Talk about eye opening! We're only on day 8 of the books and already there has been a huge change in our marriage. I've learned so much, not just about my marriage and how to make it work, but about myself and how my relationship with Christ affects every other relationship that I have.

Some of the early dares were pretty easy: don't say anything negative, do something unexpected for your spouse... But some of them have been really challenging. Each day that goes on, as I read through the entry and the corresponding challenge, the Lord is revealing things to me that I never would have thought of on my own. And through it all, it is so amazing to know that my husband is right by my side, learning along with me.

Trust me, if you are married and haven't yet begun this process, I suggest you start as soon as you can! Even if your marriage isn't necessarily "troubled", you can still learn a great deal about how to keep it out of trouble.

So, what are you waiting for?

Have any of you already completed The Love Dare challenges? What was your experience with them? Has your marriage changed?

I'm truly interested to hear back from you all! I hope you have a blessed day!

Baby Shower

2009-08-12T14:31:00.003-04:00

This past weekend I got the privilege of helping to host a baby shower for a very deserving woman. Some of you may know Jenn from her blogs (Love, Pain, & the Whole Crazy Thing [private] and Hal and Jenn) and if you do, then you know how much of a blessing Baby Halle is!

I've spent the last few weeks planning out every aspect of the shower with Andrea and Christen (and trying not to spill the beans about any of it to Jenn!). We ran around Jacksonville like a couple of mad women, darting from craft store to party store and every place in between. Everything had to be perfect! Nothing less would do.

On Friday night, after doing some last minute shopping, I was at Andrea's until about 12:15 or so until I got so tired that I decided I was done for the night. Andrea and Christen ended up staying up until after 3 am finalizing everything. Then, we were all up around dawn getting ready, finishing food and rearranging everything. Finally, when all our hard work was done, we were able to relax and enjoy the party!

**I've got some cute pics of the set up from before people showed up, but neglected to take any worthwhile ones during the actual party. Once blogger starts being nice I'll upload what I've got. **

I had a fantastic time celebrating Baby Halle and oogling over all the cute stuff that Jenn received. That baby is very loved already and we can't wait to meet her!

3 Months Old

2009-08-05T09:00:00.002-04:00

Dearest Evan,

It's hard to believe that Mommy's Little Man is turning 3 months old today. Time has flown by so quickly! It seems like only yesterday Mommy was waddling around, begging you to hurry up and come out and now you are here growing up before my very eyes.

Each day brings with it new experiences for you. Just the other day, you made your first (of many) trips to the mall! Don't worry, you'll learn to love it more than you do right now. Especially once you figure out that Build A Bear is a fun store and not just a scary, loud place full of tweens!

You finally started laughing a week ago. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear giggles come out of those precious little lippers! You are such a happy baby, always trying to smile and coo to get my attention. The babbling is extraordinarily cute too! You try so hard to be part of every one's conversations. I could listen to you talk all day!

You are beginning to lose your baby hairs, which makes me a little sad. The day you were born we could make a full on mohawk out of all that hair, and now you look like you're attempting a comb-over. It makes you look like a very tiny, yet very cute, old man (especially due to your lack of teeth). Hopefully it will grow back in time for you to get a Ray's-hawk at the beginning of the next baseball season. Your Daddy would be so proud! I may even let him dye it blue!

You love your big sister Natalie. No matter how many times she pokes at you or wakes you up from your naps, you always smile and laugh and listen to her silly songs! She's so proud to have you as her little brother. I only hope you two continue to play so well together as you get bigger. Promise me you won't tackle her too much when you finally do get bigger than her, okay?

Food is a big deal right now. Anytime you see me or Daddy eating something, you start licking your lips and kicking your legs and fussing to get our attention. You can't wait to eat big people food! Baby food is going to be such an adventure! I have a feeling that once you try real food I'm going to be hard pressed to get you to drink a bottle anymore.

Evan, you are Mommy's big boy, but I wish you could stay my little man forever. These precious days go by all to quickly! I love you so much! I can't wait to see what the next 3 months will bring.

Love,
Mommy

Evan coming home from the hospital, 2 days old

Evan at 3 months old

Tested

2009-08-04T09:00:00.003-04:00

I heard a song the other day that really hit home. While the name of the song and the artist who sings it completely escapes me at the moment, the substance of the song rings out all too clear.

I must be doing something right, because everything seems to be going wrong.

We've all felt this way at one time or another. Just as you try to get your life back together and going the way it should be, mountains seem to pop up from out of nowhere.

For two weeks now, we've been back in church. I can't remember a time when I actually looked forward to going in the past, but now I wait impatiently all week to sit in those pews. The urge to seek out Christ and His teachings is stronger than it's ever been before! I feel like I'm hearing everything for the first time, even though I grew up in church my entire life.

On the back of all the joy and happiness comes the hard part: there is always something trying to get in my way. Lately, my hurdle has been the return of my anxiety and my OCD symptoms that have been gone for close to 8 months now. While I've known that eventually I may one day need to up my dosage on a certain medication in order to manage these problems, everything was fine and dandy until I started getting back into church. Literally, within 24 hours of our first service being back, I was once again plagued full force with my recurrent obsessive thoughts (which are quite disturbing) without an obvious catalyst.

There is a part of my mind that says, "It's the church that's doing it to you! If it makes you anxious, you should stop going!" I'm sure there are probably some people out there who would agree with those statements. In fact, I almost started to agree with them.

But then I remembered something...

I found that I am most at peace when I'm sitting in that church, listening to the word of God. I am happiest when I am seeking His grace. I'm fulfilled when I'm praising His name. Being in that church and seeking Him is nothing but a constant source of joy for me.

So where is this anxiety stemming from?

The answer came when I finally talked to my husband about it all yesterday. I told him I felt like I was on the verge of another panic attack (this one spawned by putting Evan in an outfit that we had purchased back at the beginning of the year. Long story short, because of my anxiety, OCD and pre-partum depression, purchasing clothes for the new baby were a constant source of anxiety for me. This eventually led to talking to my OB about it and getting a prescription that has totally eliminated these thoughts.) He said something about it today that really opened my eyes.

Do you think it's a coincidence that this is happening now that we're back in church? Who wouldn't want us to be there?

There is only one who would do anything in his power to make church seem like a place I wouldn't want to be. Only one who would want the very worst for me. One who would not be happy that I am finally getting on the right track. One who could easily send these things back upon me to wreak havoc on my life and try to get me to turn back away from God. And I will not let him win.

I've been far away from God for too long to turn back just as I'm finally heading in the right direction. All my trust is going to the Lord to help me through this trial. I can already feel that it isn't going to be an easy one, but I welcome the challenge. To remain steadfast in the Lord, to be comforted by His grace and mercy and sheltered by Him is all that I desire right now.

I will stumble, I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes, I will face heartache,
But I will not be moved

On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand,
I will not be moved.

Josh Is Home!

2009-08-03T13:10:00.004-04:00

After a very long day yesterday, we finally made it out to see my brother Josh who has just gotten back home from Iraq. Other than being much more tan and bulky, he's the same old brother than I've come to know and love.

Natalie was so excited to see him! We coached her a little bit ahead of time to say "Uncle Josh, you're my hero!" as soon as she saw him. Such a sweet little girl!

To top things off, this was Josh's first time ever seeing Evan in person. He deployed while I was still pregnant. It was so neat to see the two of them together, since I think that Evan has some strong similarities to Josh.

We're so glad to finally have him home!

Wild Olive Kids!!

2009-08-03T13:01:00.003-04:00

I recently purchased my first Wild Olive Tee (which you can see here) and I couldn't help but get excited when I heard that they are now going to be offering a kids line!

Starting around August 12th, 3 different designs will be available to choose from. Visit http://www.wildolivetees.com/ to find out more, or just click on the button on my left sidebar!

To make things even better, for a limited time, when you purchase one of the CHOSEN tee's, 25% of the profits will be donated to Love Without Boundaries. Love without boundaries strives “To provide the most loving and compassionate help possible to orphaned and impoverished children in China, and to show the world that every child, regardless of their needs, deserves to experience love and be treated with dignity and care.”

So go on, head over, and take a look at the adorable tees you can purchase!

Not Quite The Answer I'd Hoped For

2009-07-23T16:24:00.004-04:00

When Josh got home from work yesterday, I loaded up Natalie in the car and we headed off to the grocery store. Josh decided to stay home with Evan (who was blissfully sleeping in his crib) and watch episodes of Dawson's Creek on DVD.

Which reminds me... I didn't realize how much I really liked that show back in the day! What's not to love? The music, the characters, and oh, the fashions. Jeans that go all the way up past your belly button paired with a shirt that stops just below your rib cage and platform tennis shoes. Don't we all miss the 90's?

Back on topic.

The trip to the grocery store was out of necessity. We were out of the most basic items: chips and salsa, iced oatmeal cookies, quart size freezer bags... oh, and formula. Evan has been having many more bottles than normal and I forgot just how fast you can run out of formula. And since my body is perfectly fine to not produce ANY milk during the day, we need to make sure we always have a huge supply on hand.

We loaded up our cart and headed for checkout. For once, we were actually able to go through the "10 Items or Less" line, even though the lady with just 2 bananas and a diet coke 12 pk behind me still gave us dirty looks for having exactly 10 items. Sorry lady. Deal with it.

With the groceries loaded into the back of my car, I opened Natalie's door to put her in her car seat. Before she could sit, she saw on the floor a deflated balloon she had gotten at a baby shower months ago. The conversation proceeded as follows --

Natalie: "Oh no! My balloon friend!"

Me: "Aww... that's ok, honey. You haven't played with that for a long time. We'll just throw it out."

Natalie tries to throw the no-longer-fun balloon onto the hot asphalt of the grocery store parking lot. I quickly snatch it from her grasp, thinking that this is my opportunity to teach my daughter something useful.

Me: "No, ma'am! This is garbage, and garbage does not go onto the ground, does it?"

Natalie: "No."

Me: "That's right! Where does garbage go?"

Natalie thinks for a second. Then, her eyes gleam. She's found the answer, locked away in her 3 year old mind.

My head starts to swell. I'm the world's greatest mother! My super-human child knows that garbage does not go on the ground. She is eco-friendly, and conscious of the world around her. Never again will she put garbage in an improper place!

As I'm practicing my speech for the Mother of the Year award, Natalie opens her mouth and exclaims...

Natalie: "Garbage goes on the floor in the car!"

Sigh.

I guess I'm out of the running for that award this year.

Excuse me while I sulk away to vacuum out my vehicle.

Josh Is Almost Home!

2009-07-22T13:01:00.003-04:00

I want to say a big thank you for all of you who prayed for my baby brother!

He is finally state-side, arriving in Maryland just yesterday after 6 months in Baghdad. This has been such a scary time for everyone in my family and I am so thankful that he made it back safely.

He has to stay on his base for at least a week, then he will be able to come and visit! I can't wait to see him!!!

Not My Child Monday - 7/20

2009-07-20T16:51:00.007-04:00

Welcome to this special edition of Not Me Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what her and everyone else's kids have not been doing this week. Today, I'll share with you all the things that my sweet daughter Natalie did not do!

Natalie absolutely did not get slightly confused when asking to watch her current favorite movie a few days ago. She did not refer to it as "Who-ton Hears a Wh*re".

All kids are curious about band aids, but not Natalie! She does not have a sick fascination with them. And she definitely did not pull one off of her finger with her teeth, then proceed to EAT it while I wasn't looking!! (gag) My child knows the difference between food and Dora the Explorer plastic band aids.

Natalie does not almost break into tears at the mere mention of Disney World.

She also has never been known to spontaneously begin singing "Womanizer" or "Single Ladies" in the middle of either a Walmart or a Target. And she would never know that there is a Starbucks in Target, or what a tall vanilla bean frappacino is.

And last, but certainly not least, my darling little girl does not gyrate her hips from side to side and call it "dancing". As her parents, we would never encourage her to dance in such a manner! Neither would we refer to this particular dance move as "Natalie's Ticky-Tocky Hiney".

It's The Good Life

2009-07-20T13:33:00.003-04:00

Ah, back to my blog after a much needed break. Oh, how I have missed you all!

Although my absence was not exactly planned, let me just say that it has been quite a crazy week or so around here. Lots of family issues, plenty of house to clean, and a date night! Woo hoo! =)

I'm working hard at not only simplifying my life, but also my house. Do I really need 9 picture frames on that shelf, or just 2? Do we really need 4 different types of hairspray? How often do we actually use the 47 washcloths that I have in the closet? It's amazing how much junk 2 people can amass in just 5 years.

I'm busy catching up on my email and my reader, so I'll probably get back to serious posting tomorrow.

But until then, leave me a comment and tell me what you've been up to! You know I love comments! =)

I Had Forgotten

2009-07-10T16:03:00.004-04:00

I had forgotten how often babies wake up.

I had forgotten what it was like to not have a meal without having to feed/change/hold/rock/snuggle a newborn baby.

I had forgotten the sound of screaming at 3 am.

I had forgotten how difficult it is to get out of the house with a newborn baby.

Oh, but I remember now.

I had forgotten what it was like to have two separate wardrobes, one for maternity and one for pre-pregnancy, yet not have a single thing that fits.

I had forgotten how a stomach looks after a 9 pound baby leaves it.

I had forgotten the joys of remembering to take birth control.

I had forgotten how days can drag by.

Oh, but I remember now.

I had forgotten the amount of pure joy you feel when your baby really smiles at you for the first time.

I had forgotten the sweet smell of a newborn's skin after a bath.

I had forgotten the coos and giggles they give as you make silly faces.

I had forgotten the fact that no matter how long they scream, or how many dirty diapers you have to change, nothing can take away the love that you have for your child.

Oh, but I remember now.

Blog Hop - Favorite Picture

2009-07-07T10:06:00.005-04:00

This is one of my favorite pictures of Natalie!

One day, she's going to hate me for this! =)

Not Me Monday July 6th

2009-07-06T15:13:00.006-04:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

((This is going to be a compilation of the past couple of weeks, since I'm so far behind!))

I did not allow us to run out of diapers that fit Evan, so therefore I didn't have to take a diaper from the middle of the gorgeous diaper cake that Jenn made me for my baby shower in order to make it to the store. Not me! (Sorry Jenn!!)

In the same thread, I did not allow my son to wear the same onesie for more than 2 days simply because I didn't think about changing him out of it (and because it's so darn cute!)

My husband and I were not totally upset and bummed out over the death of Billy Mays. I was not almost brought to tears during the season (and I suppose "series") finale of Pitchmen. And, at the same time, I did not giggle at and pass on a joke about how celebrities die in threes, but leave it to Billy Mays to throw in a 4th one absolutely free. (Ok, I think he'd probably even laugh at that one).

I have not scrounged around my kitchen for the last 3 days, trying to throw meals together out of odds and ends because we've run out of groceries. I always shop on time and have meals planned out a month in advance.

I did not enter to win tickets to the Michael Jackson Memorial at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. I live in Florida and wouldn't have any way to get there! Why waste my time? I also was not bummed when I didn't win a ticket. =(

And finally, I did not get totally excited when I found out that the theme song to Perfect Strangers could be put on my blog. I absolutely did not add it and it is not the last song on the playlist if anyone is interested.

"It's my life, my dreams, and nothin's gonna stop me now!"

What did you not do this week?

Simplifying

2009-07-05T14:28:00.003-04:00

I want to say thank you to everyone for your encouragement after my "Jumping In" post. I appreciate all the kindness and help that you all have offered up to me. God is making Himself known to me in ways that I didn't understand before.

Not only is this whole experience life changing for myself, but I'm finding that it's opening a whole new dialog between Josh and I. We were talking just last night on the way home from seeing the 4th of July fireworks about how even though we'd both grown up in church, neither one of us had a real "working knowledge" of the Bible. Sure, we know most of the stories that they teach younger kids in Sunday School, but actually feeling God's presence in the words is something that we have been missing out on.

I'm a perfectionist. I always feel like things have to be perfect in order to be worthy. I'm the kind of person who would rewrite her notes from class to make sure that the handwriting was just so. It's very aggravating for me, because I know that in life perfection does not exist. Accepting life for what it is and building upon that is what I desperately want to do, but my constant battle for perfection takes all of the joy out of every task. That part of me thinks that I must be perfect or be in a more perfect place in my life before I can seek out God.

Josh compared it to driving a car. We've been driving in the complete opposite direction of God. You could say we've turned our back on him. After all, the Bible does say (I'm paraphrasing) that you are either hot or cold for God. You cannot be lukewarm, or in the middle. You are either 100% there, or you are not there at all. I know I haven't been 100% for God. My back has been turned away from Him for a long time and I've driven a long way without looking back. And it's been a dark, winding, and lonely road. I think all Christians go through this at some point in their lives.

The perfectionist in me thinks that turning around and driving back is going to be too difficult a journey. How long is it going to take to get all the way back to God? What if I don't make it back before it's too late? What if I take a wrong turn and can't find Him again? What if He got tired of waiting for me and left?

Here's where God really revealed himself to me and Josh last night. The journey back to God is so simple. All you have to do is stop and turn around. He's just as close to you as He ever was before. He doesn't love you any less than He did the day you started driving away. All that loneliness you felt was not real, because He was right behind you the entire time, watching and waiting for you. And best of all? He's not going to make you go back down that road all by yourself. He's there to walk beside you, or carry you if need be. All you have to do is turn around, face Him, trust Him and love Him completely.

It was suggested to me that I read Hebrews 12 as a good starting point for getting back into the Bible again. It tells us to throw aside everything that is keeping us from God's purpose, every sin that entangles us, so that we can run with patient endurance the course that has been set for us. It tells us that Jesus endured hostility from sinners so that we won't grow weary ourselves or become exhausted. He struggled and fought against sin, pouring out His own blood so that we wouldn't have to. Who are we to think that we can do this on our own? Why do we always believe that our troubles and sins are too big for even God to take care of? Jesus died so that we might live our lives peacefully. Those burdens that we've been lugging around all our lives are already taken care of, if only we'd turn to God and ask for help.

Following God is not the easy choice. It is the only choice. He's already pointing out things in my life that I've known shouldn't be there, but never wanted to face alone. No discipline brings joy, but Hebrews 12:11 says that it does bring righteousness over time. We are disciplined and scorned by God because He wants us to learn and grow and trust that He knows what is best for us.

My favorite part of Hebrews 12 is verse 28 and 29. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire."

Be thankful, worship God with the reverence and awe that He deserves, and in turn, He will give to you a kingdom that is firm and stable. Never again will you have to worry about everything falling apart. He'll take care of it all.

Isn't that amazing? I've never felt God's presence so much as I do right now. I know, I trust, I believe that I am in the care of the Almighty. I'm simplifying my life and getting rid of anything that might stand between myself and God.

I heard this song months ago, and for the first time I really understand the lyrics. It's called By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North.

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

Holiday Weekend

2009-07-05T12:37:00.006-04:00

I hope everyone had a very safe and happy 4th of July! We didn't really do too much celebrating. It was a day for catching up on house projects for Josh and I! We did get a lot done and the house is really coming together. On Friday, Josh redid the linen closet in our bathroom and it turned out so well! I wish I'd taken before and after pictures! Then, on Saturday, I sorted through and donated a lot of junk that we don't need to hold onto anymore while Josh did some painting. We also replaced a bad light fixture in our bedroom so now we don't have to wander around in the darkness!

Yesterday afternoon, I decided to take Natalie out to play on her swing set while my mother-in-law cuddled Evan. Thank God I decided to check around for bugs before I let her play! We found TWO BLACK WIDOW SPIDERS hanging out in the tree house portion!! Now, I don't like spiders one bit. They creep me out. But black widows are something different all together. If I got bitten, I'd get sent to the hospital. If Natalie got bitten, she'd be dead.

Josh and my father-in-law went out there to dispose of the creepy menaces and then spray all around her swing set area. Needless to say, we didn't spend too much time outside yesterday.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
We did get to take Natalie up into town to see the fireworks last night! She had such a good time! Which brings us to....

Nati-isms 4th of July Edition!

1. Whenever a firework would go off, Natalie insisted on yelling "BOOM!" and sometimes, would even tell us the shape, color, or how many fireworks had just gone off. Let me give you an example: "BOOM! BOOM! Red one! 3 of 'em! WOW! Oval one! BOOM!"

2. If Josh or I were not looking directly at the fireworks, Natalie would reprimand us until we complied. Sometimes, even if we were looking, she'd say "No, Daddy! You're not lookin'!!! Look THAT way!!"

3. A man walked by us to take some pictures of the fireworks. He was wearing a pair of khaki shorts, but he wasn't wearing any shoes or a shirt and he was covered in tattoos ((we live in the boonies, ya'll!)). Natalie quickly pointed directly at him and ~~yelled~~ kindly said "Look Mommy! That man is NAKED!" ::Insert Mommy wanting to crawl underneath the car at this point:: To make matters worse, the next time he came by he walked right next to our car and she said it again, this time with him looking our way. I could have died!

4. Towards the end of the fireworks show, Natalie could be heard saying "WOOOOOOW!", "Oh my gosh!!" and "Those fireworks are giving me good loving". No lie. Where does she get this stuff?

------------------------------------------------------------

But do you want to know the best part about this weekend?

Take a look at who turned 2 months old today!

Changes Are Here!

2009-07-03T23:11:00.001-04:00

What do you think? =)

Melting Down In Advance

2009-07-03T20:10:00.006-04:00

If you've ever met me before, you've probably heard me talk once or twice about Disney World. Ok, honestly, once I get going about the most magical place on earth I just can't shut up! I love love love love love anything and everything Disney!

We only live a few hours away from the Walt Disney World Resort and try to go as often as we can. Natalie absolutely loves it and has already been 3 times in the last year and a half. It's one of her favorite things to do EVER!

Last year, in remembrance of Baby Opal, we decided to head down to the parks. (I feel that every child deserves to go to Disney, and this was my way of sharing that with the child I could never physically take there). We splurged and bought annual passes (with hefty discounts!) and spent 5 amazing days down there. We went again for a 3 day weekend back in February to help celebrate my sister-in-law's birthday.

Needless to say, Natalie is just a tiny bit spoiled when it comes to Disney. It's her home away from home and I feel like if she could live there, she'd be packing her little pink suitcase right now.

We've already decided to take another trip at the beginning of October before our passes run out. We figure it will be our last big vacation until both the kids get bigger. Our mistake today was telling Natalie that we'll be going back. She got sooo excited! All smiles and giggles and talking about riding the "Baby Ride" (It's A Small World) and Dumbo, but not riding the "Scary Pirate Boat Ride With The Puppy and The Bad Guys" (take a guess! lol). She wants to go now, right now, what are we waiting for, can we get in the car right now?!?!

Then, we had to drop the bomb on her. We aren't leaving for another 3 months.

How do you think she took this news? See for yourself!

Oh how I wish that snot bubble could be seen on camera. =) That would have been total blackmail for when she turns 16.

Jumping In

2009-06-28T12:51:00.005-04:00

I'm tired of living my life like a bystander, watching days go by and my children grow up and not having their mother take a more active roll. It seems like I'm just struggling to get through my days each day, rather than looking forward to all the memories that we could be making. But worst of all, I hate that I'm not setting as good of a Christian example as I should be.

I feel like there is so much more I ~~could be~~ should be doing, not just for them, but for myself. There are so many things I've been neglecting simply because I can't be bothered to do them. As a result, I'm not the wife/mother/woman/friend or, most importantly, Christian that I should be. I've slipped. I've fallen short. And I'm not going to do it anymore.

God has been calling me and I'm desperately trying to hear Him. My mind keeps getting in the way. It's never hard to find an excuse not to seek Him.

I'm jumping in this one head first, no looking back. But I know this isn't going to be an easy road to walk down and I covet your prayers.

I am so looking forward to whatever it is God has in store for my life and for my family's life.

Technorati Profile

Mostly Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-24T12:50:00.004-04:00

Does baby talk count?

Prayer Request

2009-06-24T12:42:00.004-04:00

Please be in prayer my friend Lauren. She went into labor at 34 weeks and ended up giving birth to her daughter, Audrey, at 35 weeks. Lauren is home from the hospital, but Audrey had to stay behind due to some breathing problems.

Audrey is no longer on a ventilator, but is still receiving some oxygen and is on a feeding tube for now. They don't yet know when she might be released from the hospital.

To make things even more difficult, her husband's job is needing him to work at least half days and her mother can't take time off until next week, leaving Lauren at home to pump, rest, and take care of her 2-1/2 year old daughter all by herself. Needless to say, it's all very difficult for them right now. I'll be heading over there today with some dinner for them and to help out around the house a bit.

Please keep this family in your prayers!

Nati-isms

2009-06-17T11:34:00.002-04:00

((cross posted))

1. "Evan is so cute, Mom. Isn't he a-dorval?"

2. Imagine her, sitting about 3 inches from Evan's face and screeching at him like a velociraptor. She then proceeds to ask him "Do you like baby talk?!?"

3. Me- ::Driving over a bridge about 30 minutes from home:: "You ok back there, Natalie?"
Natalie- "No. I have to go poo poo mommy!"
Me- "Do you think you can hold it until we get home?"
Natalie- "NO!! My hands will get all yucky!!"

4. While looking at any webpage, if you aren't on the part of the screen she wants to see, she will tell you to "squirrel" up or down so she can see better.

5. Whenever Evan is crying, she'll poke at me and say "Hey, you! Go get Evan."

6. "Mommy, I want to eat at Girlies" = "Mommy, I want to eat at Wendy's"

6 weeks

2009-06-16T11:08:00.004-04:00

Why is it that when you are 9 months pregnant the days crawl by, but as soon as the baby is born it speeds up so fast??

I'm in shock that it's been 6 weeks already since we welcomed our baby boy into the world. He's been such a joy in our lives that I can't even begin to be thankful enough. We've really only had a few rough days with him, but even they have been minor. Overall, he's a very happy, healthy (aka chunky monkey), and sweet baby! I just love that he is smiling at us now and cooing back.

But 6 weeks also means it's time for something else... my follow up doctor's appointment. Have I ever mentioned that I really hate going to the OB? I'm totally self conscious and always feel like I'm going to get in trouble or something. I don't know. It's like being sent to the Principal's office. Usually, I'm in such a hurry to just get out of there that, even if I have questions I want to ask, I'll just leave and google them when I get home.

And isn't it amazing that my husband can't remember the difference between Rob Thomas and Rob Zombie (no joke) and couldn't remember if I'd had morning sickness with this pregnancy (because, you know, it's so easy to forget the 4 straight months of puking and having to be on medication to keep water down), but he remembers exactly when the 6 weeks are going to be up? Go figure. =)

Evan trying to talk!

2009-06-15T22:15:00.004-04:00

Since I've never uploaded a video of Evan on here before, may I formally introduce you to the cutest 6 week old you've ever seen! =) Ok, ok... I'm slightly biased.

Anywho, pause the music at the bottom, hit play, and enjoy! Oh! And ignore the stupid, high pitched voice I use when I talk to my kids... totally embarrassing! LOL

New Blog!

2009-06-14T22:14:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I've made up my mind. I am going to continue this blog, but will be doing some renovations to it in the upcoming weeks.

I've also started a new blog just for my kids here. This one will be mostly for updates on Nati and Evan for friends and family that I don't get to see very often, but you are more than welcome to follow along on that blog as well.

I'll still be doing a majority of "my" posts over here, so do not fret!

Ugh

2009-06-11T10:51:00.002-04:00

My first true mommy test....

Dealing with a cold (sniffles, coughing, congestion, fever and aches) while taking care of two sick babies.

Oh the joys! =/

Changes Coming

2009-06-04T13:12:00.003-04:00

I may not be updating for the next couple days, but the blog will be changing!

I've been talking it over with my hubby and best bud and have finally decided to give the blog a makeover.

New name...

Possibly new look...

...it's time for change.

Not Me Monday 6/1/09

2009-06-01T22:17:00.003-04:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I absolutely did not allow my 3 year old stand on her stool in the kitchen and play with a scrub brush and some dirty dishes this afternoon (in her pj's no less) for over 30 minutes because it ~~was keeping her quiet~~ made her happy.

I did not spend those 30 minutes playing FarmTown over on FB. Definitely not!

I didn't have to hold back tears last night when Evan got his first formula bottle because he was just so hungry. It certainly didn't make me feel inadequate as a mom to not be able to make enough milk at night for my son to get some sleep.

I surely didn't sleep like a baby when he slept for 4 straight hours, instead of his usual 30 minutes, all because his tummy was finally full. ((HEAVEN))

And finally, my husband and I totally DID NOT geek out last night when MTV posted the New Moon sneak peek. We also did not watch it a total of 3 times. And while we're at it, we definitely do not text each other with the latest Twilight Saga updates that we read throughout the day, Natalie does not know most of the songs on the Twilight soundtrack, and I did not get totally excited when I saw these pics. We do not behave like 13 year old school girls in this house!

Now it's your turn. What did you not do this week?

2009-05-30T08:00:00.002-04:00

(Written at an ungodly hour on 5/29, set to post on 5/30)

Thank you for the suggestions on how to fix Evan's gas issues. We are using the Mylicon drops and they do seem to be helping his burping. I guess my next step is to give the gripe water a try if the gas pains continue.

This afternoon, once we were done with Natalie's first of two follow ups at the pediatrician's office, the four of us headed over to the mattress store. I don't remember if I've mentioned this or not, but our bed sucks. Apparently, when a toddler and a grown man jump on a bed at the same time, the bed tends to get screwed up. So, we have a squeaky, lumpy, quite uncomfortable sleeping arrangement that has been in serious need of replacing for at least the past year. It took a little cajoling on my part to get the hubby into the mattress store and take a look around. Neither one of us really wanted to spend the money to buy a new bed set, but we also knew that we couldn't continue using our current bed for much longer.

Once inside, we walked around and tested out various types of mattresses. Of course, one of the most comfortable was the high end memory foam type that cost more than my entire living room. No joke.

We were able to finally narrow it down to a really nice mattress set that was at a price point we could live with. Again, we didn't really want to spend the money. But this one came with a 15 year warranty so at least I know if it gets totally destroyed by, say, a toddler and his big sister somewhere down the line I can at least get it replaced. I didn't want to buy a cheap replacement mattress only to have to buy another one 4 or 5 years down the road.

I know I'm going to get some crap for this, but I'm going to put it out there anyway. The other reason I've been really wanting to get a new mattress set is because we cosleep. ::cringes in anticipation of hate mail:: While I know this isn't a choice for everyone it is the right choice for our family. We coslept with Natalie for the first 3 months because she would only sleep if she was near one of us. The bassinett next to the bed just did not work. After 3 months, we transitioned her into her crib in her own room and she never looked back. We're doing the same with Evan because, like his big sister, he only likes to sleep when he's near us. He does, however, spend some time (an hour or two at the most) in his really awesome Eden bassinet next to my side of the bed, so he only sleeps with us for maybe half of the night.

Needless to say, having an uneven, rickety mattress isn't exactly putting my mind at ease about having him in bed with us. It's going to be so much nicer having him on a mattress that won't cause him to roll off the bed if Josh gets up to go to the bathroom at night or something.

So, on Tuesday, they will be delivering and setting up our brand new bed and I can finally get ~~a restful, uninterrupted nights sleep~~ a short but restful nap in between Little Man's feedings.

I guess I should probably remove all the dirty clothes, burp cloths and empty Pampers bags from around my bed before the come, huh?

Gassy Woes

2009-05-29T10:44:00.003-04:00

I'm not so sure that it was the dairy causing Evan's gas problems after all. I've abstained from my favorite foods (milk + cereal, cheese, sour cream... oh man... so hungry) for two days now, but Evan still had gas pains last night.

Going over what I ate yesterday, I can't really pinpoint anything that would have caused that. I'm at a loss. Luckily, the gas wasn't as bad as it has been in the past, so maybe we just missed a burp or two sometime during the day.

I'm going to give it another few days before calling a LC or his pediatrician. Maybe we'll just have to switch to formula after all!

I've got to take Natalie back to the doctor today for a follow up. That means yet another round of driving an hour to the office (pray it doesn't rain this time! We were almost sideswiped last time because of multiple accidents, onlooker delays and slick roads!) , trying to catch a clean urine sample from a 3 year old, waiting FOREVER just to be told what we already know, then driving another hour back home. This time, though, Josh is taking off of work this afternoon so he'll be able to help me out at the office.

It's almost 11 and I haven't eaten anything yet. While Evan is taking a quick nap, I'm going to grab a bite and start working on folding some laundry. Wish me luck!

Tales of a SAHM

2009-05-28T14:06:00.003-04:00

I never believed that life with two little ones could be so busy! The simplest tasks are taking FOREVER to complete! Take blogging, for example. It's been 8 days since my last update, but it just seems like I did it yesterday. Laundry is backed up, kitchen is dirty, and I'm sure my bathroom needs a good scrub down.

But you know what? I don't care.

My babies are dressed, fed and well loved. =) And that's the only thing in this whole world that matters right now.

So, here's how life has been since my last update.

Evan: My little chunky monkey reached 9lbs 1oz by his pediatrician appointment and will stay a breastfed baby! My milk production seems to be keeping up, especially in the last few days. The only bad thing is something that I'm eating is causing him some serious gas pains. I suspect dairy, so that's what I cut out starting yesterday. We'll see how it goes. So far, he seems to be much more comfortable. After a few more days, I'm going to try reintroducing it into my diet and see what happens. I am craving some milk right now!!

Natalie: My poor baby has a UTI. I took her to the pediatrician yesterday and they got her on some antibiotics. ((Remember this post? As difficult as it was to get my own urine sample, imagine holding a 3 week old in a sling while trying to catch a sample from an almost potty trained 3 year old. Fun!)) Hopefully, she'll start feeling better soon!
She's also adjusted really well to being a big sister. The only real issue is she wants to touch Evan ALL THE TIME!!! I keep telling her that babies need to sleep, but she insists on poking at him or kissing him and keeps on waking him up. I've resorted to having to send her to time out when she wakes him up. I hate to do that, but the poor thing was sleep deprived and it was affecting his eating. Whenever he is awake, though, she's allowed to play with him pretty much as much as she wants.

Dang. I had a lot more to update, but I've got to feed Natalie lunch and it sounds like Evan is waking up from his nap.

More pics to come soon!

Photo Update!

2009-05-20T10:27:00.004-04:00

Here is a quick photo update. I'm sorry it's not cuter or accompanied by a witty post... where would I find the time? =)

Enjoy!

Sleeping in his sling. He loves this thing!

Daddy, Natalie and Evan

Chilling in Natalie's bed

Evan's first real bath 5/16/2009

I love his little lips in the picture! Can't say the same for my double chin though. =)

Hoping In Pink

2009-05-20T10:24:00.003-04:00

Please take some time today to pray for April Rose. Today is her due date (a milestone that they never thought they would reach!) and it's been officially called "Hoping In Pink" day.

Head on over, read through their journey, and say a little prayer for April Rose and her mother today.

Aaahhh...

2009-05-19T16:16:00.004-04:00

Can you hear that? Listen very closely....

Silence.

It's the sound of both kids napping. I'm in Heaven! =)

We've had a rough couple of days lately. Poor Evan has been having some burping issues, which has caused him severe gas pains since Sunday night. He didn't sleep for more than 15 minutes at a time all night Sunday and all day yesterday. Finally, we figured out how to get all the air out after he eats (or should I say GULPS down his food) and he pretty much slept straight through last night. He only got up once to eat! He's been napping and eating all day today and isn't nearly as gassy as he was.

So let's just say I'm enjoying this little bit of peace and quiet while it lasts. If only they will sleep the whole way to the pediatrician's office tomorrow. I can dream, can't I? =)

And to top it all of, Little Man is 2 weeks old today! I can barely believe it. I know I'm totally slacking in the picture department. Don't hate me!

Busy? Who?

2009-05-17T13:30:00.003-04:00

I'd forgotten how busy a breastfeeding newborn will keep you. Especially when you're trying to keep up with a chunky monkey like mine! I barely have time to go to the bathroom or grab a bite to eat before he starts wailing and rooting around on anything that gets close to his mouth.

As we speak, Evan is laying on the boppy in my lap still eating. I've rediscovered how wonderful the boppy can be! BF'ing and still being able to type (somewhat)... yay!

It's hard to believe that he's almost 2 weeks old already. Why couldn't time go by this fast those last few weeks of pregnancy? He's already changed so much from the day he was born. He's beginning to follow us with his eyes and he's alert for longer during the day. When we talk to him or sing to him, he tries to find us. So sweet!

Natalie is trying her hardest to be a big helper. She doesn't quite understand why she shouldn't force the pacifier into his mouth or why she can't give him super long kisses because he needs to breathe. But, she's always willing to help out by grabbing things that he needs or making up songs for him. She loves to hold him in the boppy (until he starts crying) and he's the first thing she asks for when she wakes up in the morning. Overall, I think she has adjusted amazingly well to having a new baby in the house.

The real test comes tomorrow. Josh, his parents and his sister, all go back to work. I'll be home with two young children all by myself. Scared? You betcha! And then on Wednesday, I have to get myself, Natalie and Evan ready to go by myself, pack us all up in the car, make sure Evan is fed and changed before the trip, make sure we have all our stuff, then drive 1 hour to his doctor's appointment on the other side of town... BY MYSELF. =O The appointment is at 1:15 so I figure if I start trying to leave the house around 9 or so then I'll probably only be 15 mins late (joking!)

I promise more pictures when I locate my camera and I'm still going to do a labor/delivery post.

Wish me luck!

Mother's Day

2009-05-10T18:23:00.002-04:00

To all the mother's who are hugging their children tight...

To all the mother's who are rubbing their bellies...

To all the mother's who are missing their angels today....

And to all the mothers-in-waiting...

Happy Mother's Day! May you all be blessed!

Evan's Stats

2009-05-09T19:06:00.003-04:00

Ok, so no full on birth story just yet. Not like I'm busy or anything... =)

Here's some of the basics...

Start of labor - 11:45am on 5/5/09 (water broke)
First Contraction - 1:10pm
Delivery - 6:06pm (total labor time 6 hours and 21 minutes)
Length - 20 inches
Weight - 8 lbs 15 ozs (!!!!)
Head Circumference - 14 1/4"
Chest - 13"
Apgar - did not say. He was slightly blue at birth and took a little time breathing. I was expecting that though as a result of the Z0l0ft. Once he got to screaming, he pinked up really well and did not need to be immediately taken to the nursery.

And look! I managed to get around to updated the blog header.

I promise that I'll do a full on gory delivery story (if that's what you really want) in the next few days while I still remember it all.

At Home and Happy

2009-05-09T12:28:00.004-04:00

What a crazy, wonderful week it has been! Thank you to everyone for the well wishes. I'm so excited to say that Evan is a very happy, healthy baby and we're so glad to finally be holding him in our arms.

So far, I could not ask for a happier baby. The only time he cries is when he is hungry... which seems to be ALL THE TIME really, but as long as he's near me he usually calms down. Hopefully, my milk supply will start keeping up with him soon. Nothing more sad than a hungry cranky baby and a deflated momma! =)

I promise to do a full labor/delivery post (for those of you who have already asked) in the near future. But for right now, here are some pics of my little man to tide you over!

Evan in his "coming home" outfit.

In the car seat, headed home for the first time!
A very proud big sister. She never wants to put him down!
My sweet Natibug and her "brover" Evan.

Busted! Mama sleeps when baby sleeps!

200th post and HEADING TO THE HOSPITAL!

2009-05-05T12:32:00.003-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen, the time has come.

My water broke.

Heading to the hospital now. I will be Twittering updates, so if you aren't following me yet now is the time to do so!

Next time I update, I'll be home with my son. =)

Wish me luck!

Sleep

2009-05-05T09:13:00.004-04:00

Somehow, I managed to get 6 full hours of sleep last night. Heavenly? You betcha! Paying for it today? You better believe it. My right hip feels like it's been hit with a hammer, but I'm waiting for my Tylenol to kick in then I should be right as rain.

As far as sleeping arrangements go, we've decided that I'm better off on the couch (it's firmer which is slightly better for my hips) and Josh is better off in the bed. It's tough to be by myself at night, but this was at least one of us gets a really restful night's sleep. Plus, it's only until Evan comes out and my hips attempt to go back to normal.

On the labor front, still no signs of activity. I did have about 4 Braxton Hicks contractions yesterday that were roughly 20-25 minutes apart, but they stopped as soon as I started moving around. Bummer.

Since Evan is taking his dear sweet time getting here, I'm calling my hairdresser (do they still call them that?) today to get my highlights touched up. If I have to wait to go into labor, at least I'm going to look good doing it! I'm thinking it's time to cut Nati some bangs, too. Poor thing is constantly sweeping hair out of her eyes! I've been waiting for her hair to just grow out longer so she won't have to worry about it, but while the back gets longer the front stays just long enough to be a bother. She gets it from me though. I've always had what I like to call "baby hairs" that just never seem to grow out. They've been the same length for as long as I can remember. I can cut them shorter and they'll grow back to their original length, but never longer than that. Frustrating, huh?

And now, for your viewing pleasure... a picture of me!

Yes, that is a bowl perched high up on my belly. And no, it didn't need any help staying there. Good times! (Please ignore the whole 'I've-been-run-over-by-a-car' look that I'm sporting. It was late!)

Oh yeah! I forgot to upload my official 40 Week pictures yesterday. I surely hope these are the last ones... Enjoy!

40 weeks

2009-05-04T10:38:00.004-04:00

I honestly never thought I would make it this far. Totally full term! Craziness.

Evan is still snug as a bug in there, gleefully kicking at my ribs and sticking his little butt up as high as he can. I suppose he's content to be in there, but I can't imagine that he has much room left! He's definitely low... uncomfortably so. Low enough so that when he moves his head, I feel like I'm going to die! It's a feeling like being stabbed in the lady business. Fun, huh?

On a good note, he now officially only has one week left to come out on his own. I'm really beginning to believe that we're going to make it to that induction date next Monday. I don't really have any signs of early labor to speak of.

One of my main concerns now is that he may have a bowel movement in utero, which from what I understand can happen more often in a "late term" pregnancy. I know it happens a lot and is easily taken care of, but Evan is already at risk for having some breathing difficulties at birth. Because I'm on the Z0loft, it increases the risk of him having Persistent Pulmonary Hypertension of the Newborn (PPHN), as well as other breathing/eating difficulties. If you add meconium into the mix, it can make things that much worse. And more than anything, I just want my little man to be healthy and happy!

So today, I suppose I'll try and get the house in some kind of order, double check the hospital bags, and beg my son to come out. Looks like it should be a fun one!

Still Nothing

2009-05-03T12:13:00.004-04:00

I've been a completely useless bum over the past couple days. The only productive thing I've done is that I took a shower yesterday. Other than that, I've just been so very tired, grumpy and uncomfortable that I could really care less.

Basically, if it didn't involve sitting on the couch in my bathrobe, then I didn't care.

I've been trying to enjoy the last few days of my pregnancy as best I can. Honestly! I know that as soon as Evan is out, I'm going to miss feeling him move around in there. There will probably even be times that I wish he was back in there, being nice and quiet. Right now, however, nothing would make me happier than a few huge contractions and maybe my water getting broken. My entire body hurts... except for my uterus that is. That feels just fine and dandy, thank you very much. Not even a twinge. I barely have any Braxton Hick's contractions anymore!

Sleep is pretty much impossible now. Even sitting up is uncomfortable! Last night, I think I finally passed out around 3am, but was up within an hour and a half to use the bathroom. I just lay there, trying to get as comfortable as possible, and hope that I just fall unconscious before the sun rises.

Eating is no fun. Anything more than 3 or 4 bites gives me a stomach ache. And nothing tastes good anymore! Even my coveted Chik-Fil-A cookies and cream milkshakes don't taste like they used to. (Don't get me wrong... if you offer me one I'm still gonna take it!! =D )

I know I'm being the complaining pregnant girl and I hate that. But the very thought of having to try and survive another 8 days of this is beyond what I can even imagine. Each day gets harder and harder.

Plus I feel like a ticking time bomb. I know people mean well, but I'm sick of having to say over the phone "No. Not having any contractions yet. Yes, I know he's a stubborn child. Yes, I feel like crap. Thanks for checking in!"

I'm just tired. I'd rather be tired with a newborn in my arms.

You are my Sunshine!!

2009-05-01T12:38:00.004-04:00

I love this little girl!

((You'll want to go to the bottom of the page to pause the music))

Happy May!

2009-05-01T12:25:00.004-04:00

It's a gorgeous day outside. I love living in Florida! We don't get many "spring" days here. It pretty much goes from being really cold (by Florida standards of course) to being miserably hot. When we have days like today, where there is a slight cool breeze and the humidity isn't too oppressive, you really learn to appreciate it.

Today would be a good beach day. Too bad I don't feel like packing Natibug up and heading that way. It's not too far, but far enough that everyone in my family would probably worry about me being away from the house.

Plus, I do need to really start cleaning this house. It's almost to the point of being embarrassing! The dishes are piled up, the laundry is growing out of control, and my living room has been taken over with blankets and pillows. ((Since the bed is no longer comfortable for me because of my hip problems, I've been sleeping on the couch. And for the past two nights, my sweet husband has made a pallet on the living room floor so he could be closer to me. I know it's not the most comfortable place for him, but I'm also very happy that he's close. That first night being on the couch by myself was tough. I can actually count on one hand the number of nights that we haven't been in the same bed since we've been married!)) Unfortunately, I don't think Nati is going to let me pick up the blankets from the floor. She's having way too much fun in there!

Isn't the whole "nesting" thing supposed to be kicking in? I wish I could just mindlessly go clean, but everything seems like such a chore that I don't even want to get started.

Maybe I need to pay someone to come over here and do it all for me. Or just burn the whole house down and start over. =) Kidding, kidding. Please don't call the fire department!

On an Evan note, I am actually glad that he will be a true MayBaby. I'm completely surrounded by April birthdays!! Off the top of my head, I count at least 6 people close to me that have April birthdays! Josh was talking yesterday about how neat it would be to have a Mother's Day baby. As much as I hate to admit it, that would be awfully nice! But, I'd settle for a May 1st baby too! =)

Not Just a Thursday

2009-04-30T12:09:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, about 5 hours after my appointment, I had some serious "spotting" that almost had me worried. I'd been told of course that I might experience it, but it's not usual for me to after having my cervix checked. It lasted for about 2 hours and eventually went away. I was kind of hoping that maybe it would kick start labor, but again I was wrong.

So now, it's time to refocus. Evan will be out whenever he wants to come out. Why sit around waiting and waiting, evaluating every little twinge?

Instead, today, I'm focusing on my Natibug.

As I'm typing this, she's playing with her Little Pony dolls, listening to Jason Mraz and just being 3. I'm so amazed at the amount of things she likes to do on her own. The amount of independence that she wants can sometimes be a little frustrating, but I'm learning to let her discover that there is so much that she can do for herself! Already today, she's gone peepee and poopoo on her own in the potty, brushed her own teeth, picked out her outfit for the day... things I didn't think she'd be doing just yet. I still see that little helpless baby from 3 years ago when I look at her and it's difficult to let that go.

Now she's snuggling against my arm, thumb in her mouth, staring at me. I know she's a bit old for the thumb, but she doesn't use it constantly. Only when she's feeling snuggly or when she's tired. And honestly, it's not a battle I feel like fighting just yet. We've tried that road before and it just isn't time.

While it's nice outside, we're going to go take a look at the garden, fill the bird feeders, and play on her swing set. As uncomfortable as I may be, I'm going to make the best of today.

Because it's not just a Thursday. This very well could be the last Thursday with just my Nati and me.

39 Week Appt Details

2009-04-29T16:41:00.003-04:00

Still no Evan. In fact, everything looks "pretty much the same" as last week. Still 1-2 cm dilated, about 50% effaced.

Crap.

And I was so hoping for some miraculous thing to happen, like, say, being checked and hearing "Wow! You're already 8 cms. Let's get you to the hospital!" A girl can dream, right?

My next appointment is scheduled for Wednesday the 6th at 1:15. I've also been penciled in for an induction on May 11th just in case this little man decides to be later than that.

You hear that, mister?? 12 days is all you have left. So come on out peacefully or we'll come in there and get you out!!

Appt Today

2009-04-29T08:29:00.003-04:00

Ah, yet another week has gone by and no signs of Evan.

Seriously, kid, what's the deal??

Don't you want to come out and meet this crazy lady who's been carrying you around for the past 9 months? And that silly guy who's always poking at your little feet? And the really loud 3 year old who will probably bite you as soon as she sees you? Who wouldn't want to come out to all of that?!?

::sigh::

The good thing about all of this is that delivery is an inevitability. I cannot possibly be pregnant forever... right?

My sleep is starting to suffer. For the past 2 nights, I've resorted to sleeping on the couch in order to keep my poor sick hubby from having to deal with me tossing and turning. I think I got maybe 2 hours of sleep last night.

Do you think they'd induce me simply because I'm tired? Yeah, I didn't think so either. =/

I'll post a Twitter update as soon as my appointment is over and I'll try to blog about it as soon as I get home. That is, of course, unless they send me to the hospital. But I'm pretty sure I'd need to be contracting for that to happen.

39 Weeks

2009-04-27T11:17:00.006-04:00

So much has gone on in the past few days that I've wanted to blog about (no, Evan is not here yet and there is still no sign he's coming), but I have been nursing a sick hubby and toddler back to health. The blog was put on the back burner.

Where to begin....

On Friday, my big girl officially turned 3 years old!! You know how people always tell you that time flies by once you have kids? They weren't kidding! It honestly doesn't seem like she's been with us for 3 years already. It's kind of scary to think about. How fast is time going to go by when I have two kiddies to take care of instead of just one?

There are so many little things I remember about that first week being at home with her. The first movie I watched after we got home was the old black and white version of Jane Eyre (which just so happened to be playing on AMC as soon as I woke up on Friday!). I remember the first time I put her in her swing. I think I videotaped about 20 minutes of her sleeping in there, swinging back and forth. I remember putting all the flowers we received at the hospital on my kitchen counter. Sleep was difficult that first week. I think I spent a majority of time in my glider with Natalie sleeping on my chest. It was the only place she was comfortable sleeping, so I let her stay as long as she wanted. Clingy from the beginning! But I loved every minute of it.

Now she's three. A full blown preschooler. She can get on the potty and go all by herself. She knows all the theme songs to her favorite TV shows. When we go outside to play, she knows which shoes are her play shoes and which ones are her "new" shoes. She can swing, slide, run and chase the dog. She climbs up in my lap, lays her head on me, and tells me I'm the "best mommy in the whole world".

Who would have ever thought? I guess I saw her as a baby forever in my mind. Now, with the upcoming arrival of a new baby, I realize just how big my "big girl" really is. Sometimes it makes me sad, knowing that she'll never be that little clingy baby girl she once was. But, at the same time, I'm excited to keep watching her grow day by day.

Counting contractions

Proud Daddy

I looked like I got hit by a bus, but I couldn't have been happier!

Mommy's Little Easter Egg!

I spent weeks in this chair (as you can probably tell! LOL)

Taken on Natalie's due date. I hope my stomach looks like that again after this one!

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On Saturday, I officially became the most pregnant that I've ever been -- 38 weeks 5 days.
With Natalie, my water broke at 3am at 38 weeks 5 days and she was born 8 hours later. I was kind of hoping for a repeat of the same thing this time around, but no such luck. Now I'm 39 weeks (which seems so strange!) and still patiently waiting for little Evan.
I did remember to take some pictures to compare though!

I think I got the date wrong on this sign.

This was taken just 4 hours before my water broke with Natalie.

Taken on 4/24/2009. Come on, little Evan!

----------------------------------------

Being the only healthy person in the house, I got to go grocery shopping all by myself yesterday. We've been going to Wally World more and more for groceries and honestly, it's saving us tons of money. I'm usually able to get 3 weeks worth of food and supplies for the same cost as a week and a half used to cost me at the grocery store.

I was also looking forward to stopping at the Chik-Fil-A right next door to the store and getting one of their cookies and cream milkshakes! Unfortunately, I forgot that yesterday was Sunday and they were closed. I fully appreciate the fact that they don't make their employees work on Sundays, I even applaud them for it, but I really wanted that milkshake. =(

I get to WM and start walking inside. Yes, I know I'm huge and pregnant and that my wedding rings are no longer on my finger (had to take them off a few days ago because of the swelling. Now I can't get them back on!). I'm also aware that most of the time, when I'm not wearing any makeup and my hair is in a pony tail, I resemble a 16 year old. I waddle when I walk. But seriously people, is it necessary to stare at me? It makes me want to wear a sign that reads...

"Yes, I'm pregnant. I'm also happily married to the love of my life and have been for the past 5 years. I'm 24 years old, not 16.

No, this isn't my first. I have a 3 year old at home.
It's a boy. He's due in a week.
PLEASE STOP STARING AT ME!!!"

It took me a good hour and a half to make my way through the aisles. I managed to pack my little shopping cart to the brim! That sucker was heavy! I pull myself up to a checkout line that isn't too full and park it. A manager comes by and tries to direct me to a line that's about 20 yards away, saying that it has less people in it. I consider it, but stay where I am. By the time I get that cart going again and get all the way down there, it will probably be fuller than the one I'm in now.

I finally get checked out, pay my almost $300 bill, and notice my one cart has morphed into 2 completely full carts. Great. Luckily for me, there was actually someone there who was willing to not only help me out to my car by pushing the second cart, but also helped me load up all of my purchases! At Walmart. No joke! It was seriously the best experience I've ever had at that store. I guess being pregnant does have a few perks. =)

On the way home, I decided to stop and get some Krystals! I usually don't like them, but I had a craving. I pulled up to the drive through and notice a sign that reads "Sorry, we are temporarily closed!" Crap!! I was having no luck with food.

So, I settled for the KFC/Pizza Hut combo place next door. ::sigh::

-----------------------------------------

And now, here I sit at 39 weeks along, and I'm getting anxious. It makes me so nervous to think that we are this close to the finish line and still aren't out of the woods yet. Experiencing a loss will do that to you I suppose. I try not to think of all the what-if's. Can't help it. It's who I am.

I'm ready for a flood of emotions once Evan is finally out, safe and sound. Relief. Joy. Happiness.

Until then, I'm constantly scared that something bad is going to happen and that there won't be anything we're going to be able to do about it. Irrational? Probably. Impossible? Not at all. One of the bad parts about spending so much time online is that you read all about the things that people go through. People who thought that everything would be just fine, only to be blindsided completely by tragedy.

So, until this little one is out and crying and breathing, I'm nervous. The longer he takes, the more nervous I get.

Hopefully I'll get some kind of news at my appt on Wednesday. With all the walking I've been doing, I would hope that I'm more than 1-1/2 cm by then!

38 week Appt

2009-04-23T18:27:00.002-04:00

Just a quick update. Nati has a new computer game she got from her kids meal at Wendy's and is BEGGING to start playing it already.

I've gained 2 pounds in the last week, bringing my total so far to 33 pounds gained.

Evan's heart rate is in the 130's and everything is measuring right on schedule.

Cervix is dilated 1-1/2 cms and is 50% effaced. Basically, no sign that he'll be coming out soon. But we all know that can change, so I'm trying to be optimistic that I won't have to be pregnant/miserable for very much longer.

Right now I'm nursing a bruised rib (right where my bra happens to sit thank you very much), a pinched nerve in my right hip, tingly toes due to slight swelling, and an annoying cough! Time to come out, little man!

Evan's Room

2009-04-22T15:17:00.003-04:00

I'm so happy that we were finally able to get Evan's room ready. It used to be half of our master bedroom, but we closed it off to make him a room of his own. The painting was the most time consuming part really. Lavender walls didn't really fit the theme we were going for, so it had to be done. =) We painted two different shades of blue, one on top and one on bottom with a white stripe in between. We color matched the blues to work with the Amy Coe decorative stickers that I got at my baby shower. Amy Coe = awesome. I'd love to show you a picture of the entire room all completed, but it's slap full of bags and boxes that need to be sorted through and frankly looks like a mess. You can get the general idea though!

After painting. I forgot to take a "before" shot.

Stickers added and crib finally reassembled!

The changing table used to be a light green, but my inlaws were nice enough to paint it for me.

All the bedding added in. Josh got to add his baseball touch at the last minute (notice the night light next to the crib.)

Next time you see this room, there'll be a cute little baby in it!

Easter 2009

2009-04-22T15:04:00.004-04:00

Easter this year was much more exciting than in previous years. It was the first year that Natalie got excited about getting a basket full of goodies and going egg hunting. Of course, it also meant that we spent a majority of our day re-hiding the eggs so she could go find them. And let me tell you, this girl is a GOOD egg hunter. =)

Here's Natalie's basket. Unfortunately, the Easter Bunny forgot that chocolate melts very easily, especially in, say, the backseat of a car wrapped in a target bag. =/

Hehehe I love this picture. Her hair seriously looks like this every morning!

...but she cleans up nicely!

She loves this little lamb.

Hunting for eggs around her grandaddy's garden.

Here's a pic of her new swingset/slide combo that her grandparents got her for her 3rd birthday.

Didn't I tell you she was good at finding the eggs? Can't put anything past her.

We also spent some time that afternoon over at my mother's house for more egg hunting and some food. And lots of jokes about how I must have eaten ALL the eggs.