Schmuck

That's how I feel.

Yesterday was supposed to be Opal's first birthday.

And I forgot.

Evan Update ((cross post))

We got in to see his pediatrician today and he confirmed that Evan just has a cold. No ear infection, no swine flu, no bronchitis... just a bad case of the sniffles.

He said we should be good to go for our trip to Orlando!

On the way home, I got stuck in some awful traffic. It usually takes me between 45 minutes - 1 hour to get from the pediatrician's office all the way to home, but today it took over 2 hours. I got stuck behind an accident on the highway and it seriously took over an hour to move .4 miles.

UGH!

So, needless to say, my plans of getting all my laundry done today so I can pack tomorrow pretty much flew out the window.

Wish me luck!

Poor Little Evers

My favorite little man is sick. I can't tell you how much it hurts my heart to see him this way. His eyes water, his nose is congested, he coughs all day and now he's got a low grade fever to boot.

Can't the poor little guy catch a break?

I just put a call in to his pediatrician to see if there is anything else I can do for him besides snuggle him. Hopefully, if he needs to be seen, they can get me in today or tomorrow. Otherwise I'll have to stay behind while everyone else heads down to Orlando until he can be seen. The last thing I want to do is drag him through a theme park sick, especially since he'll need to rest.

The good thing about it is that, even if he can't go to the parks, there will be 4 of us there to switch off taking care of him in the hotel so that at least Natalie can have a good time.

It's so different now having an infant and a toddler. When Nati was a baby, she never got sick because she was never around other kids. Now that she's older, she gets sick more and in return Evan gets sick more.

So, while I'm waiting to hear back from the nurse, I'm going to head off and do some laundry. Then I need to make my lists and start packing. Then, this afternoon, I find out if I'm going to be an aunt to a niece or a nephew!! I can't wait!!

Three Days And Counting

This past week has gone by way too fast! I've been so busy trying to get the kids well (yes, we're battling colds for either the second or third week straight. I honestly can't remember which!) and busy trying to keep up with the housework that our Disney trip has totally snuck up on me.

I'm a total planner. I make lists, schedules, and have to have everything organized. I suppose it's part of my OCD. It's super important to me not to forget ANYTHING on this trip, especially traveling with a mostly potty trained toddler and a 5 month old.

((Did I mention Evan turned 5 months old today?! Big ole' boy!))

So here we are at T-minus 3 days until we arrive at Disney and I don't even think any of my clothes are washed. I don't really know where my suitcases are either. (Ok, I do know where one is, but it still has stuff in it... from my last trip... to the hospital... to give birth... five months ago. Oh how I wish I was joking.)

There are still a bunch of things that I need to buy for our trip as well.

1. Bike lock for the stroller. Ain't nobody gonna steal my brand new double Graco while we're down there!
2. Rain cover for the stroller.
3. Breakfast foods and snacks.
4. Sun hat for my little man.
5. Diapers and formula.
6. Crazy medicine and birth control (because the last thing I need on this trip is to lose my mind and end up getting pregnant at the same time. I'd love more kids... but not at this very second.)

I'm sure there's tons more, but my mind is fried.

So, today I need to clean my kitchen, fold laundry, iron Josh's shirts, make dinner, and somehow get to the grocery store.

Wish me luck!

Vacation Prep

...or "Why Does This Always Happen Before Going on Vacation?"

There is a thing in my mother's side of the family known as the "Daniels' Luck". It seems that people on that side of my family (myself included) have the absolute worst luck when it comes to things like buying gifts, taking vacations, or trying to plan something.

For example, whenever I buy something new from a store, I automatically know that something is going to be wrong with it. Usually, it's something trivial and doesn't affect whatever the item is. But regardless, there is always something wrong. I bought a two sided lipstick tube once that had a moisturizer at one end and the color at the other. Well, my tube was labeled wrong so the color was where the moisturizer should have been and vice versa. No biggie.

Oh, and then I bought Josh's cousin a Disney board game for Christmas one year. When the box was opened on Christmas Eve we discovered that the Minnie Mouse metal game piece didn't have any ears.

I'm never allowed to be the person to pick out anything new, whether that be shopping carts at the store or a new car. And I'm absolutely not allowed to touch anything first, lest it break! I was forbidden to touch my mother in laws plants in her garden when she first put them in.

It's mostly become a joke now. Anytime something goes wrong, I'm the first to say "It's not my fault! I didn't touch it!"

The other aspect of my Daniels' Luck is that I always get a UTI 1-2 weeks before we are going on vacation. Seriously. It started with my honeymoon (fun, right?) back in 2004. In 2005 I got one before our week long trip to Tennessee. I had one before our 1 year anniversary that same year. And the last 3 times we've taken a vacation, I've had to make a quick stop to the Urgent Care Clinic to get an antibiotic.

So, of course, since we're leaving for Disney next week I've got another one. Luckily, my regular doctor is going to see me this afternoon so I don't have to spend $50+ at the urgent care place.

Happy October!

Ah, fall. How I've missed it. The days become less sweltering and more enjoyable here in the south. In fact, it reached somewhere around 50 degrees yesterday morning! It was back up in the 80's by the afternoon, but us Floridians aren't used to cold weather so you know I had the heater on until then!

October is a special month for us. This year, on October 16th, we are going to be celebrating 5 years of being married. It's a beautiful thing! While we don't have anything huge planned for the specific day, we are going to be spending 5 days down in Disney the week before. We're total Disney nerds... how many people do you know that like to spend their anniversary celebrating with 50,000 of their closest friends and their children, shuttling back and forth on buses to wait in line for a ride they've been on dozens of times in their lifetime? Me! Me! Me! =)

It's going to be a much needed break. The four of us are hanging on to a cold that just will not go away. Natalie is the first one to really start feeling better, so she doesn't understand why the rest of us still feel like crap. Poor little Evan won't fall asleep today unless I'm holding on to him! And of course, Nati thinks that Evan-sleeping-on-Mommy's-chest time is Let's-yell-really-loud-and-poke-at-Evan's-face time! Needless to say, I'm a bit frazzled today.

As long as we are all healthy by next week, I'll be fine. I can't imagine being sick down in Orlando. What a great way to wreck a vacation!

Count Choculitis

I love Count Chocula. I think if he were a real person, I'd just have to marry him so I could enjoy the chocolate-marshmallow goodness all year round. Because, you know, my waist line would just love me for that! Sorry Boo and Franken Berry, but as far as breakfast cereal goes, you're just glorified versions of year round breakfast cereal brands. Gimmicky even. Nice try!

Sadly, Count Chocula is not a real person. In fact, he chooses to only show up in my life for a few weeks each year in the fall. Not exactly relationship material if you ask me.

But oh, how I love him! Each year, as I start seeing the Halloween and Fall decorations appear in stores, I begin looking for my favorite vampire down the cereal aisle.

A few days ago, I found him! There he was, sitting on a shelf along with Franken Berry just begging to be taken home. (Oddly enough, Boo Berry was nowhere to be found. Did he finally give up on me, I wonder?)

Quickly, I snatched him up (and Franken too, for Natibug and the hubs) and we made our way home. One bowl and some milk later and it was time to enjoy.

Unfortunately, something has happened to Count Chocula. In the past, the marshmallows would get more and more delicious the more milk they absorbed. They turned into sugary little clouds of goodness. But now, they are hard. Very reminiscent of Lucky Charms marshmallows. And that irresistible taste? Meh. Not so much.

Has my palette finally out grown this once loved breakfast staple? Or has "the man" tampered with the recipe?

I don't know. But I have an acute case of Count Choculitis that doesn't seem to have a cure.

Nati-isms Sept 29,2009

Welcome to another amazing round of Nati-isms! I've been keeping a running tab on the totally cute things that my 3-1/2 year old says on a daily basis that make me laugh and warm my heart.

So without further ado.... welcome to the mind of a toddler!

1. Evan was crying recently in the car on the way somewhere (Mommy brain has set in and now I can't quite remember exactly why we were in the car!). Natalie, the ever helpful big sister, grabbed his flailing hands and said "Don't cry, Evan. I'm just picking my boogers!" Nice.

2. Nati recently saw a picture of her daddy back in his senior year of high school. It hangs on the wall at my in laws house, but she just noticed it a few days ago. She ran up to the picture and said "Look! It's a whole new daddy!!" I guess we've changed a lot more than we realized in the past 7 years. =)

3. I got brave the other day and decided to fix up my hair similar to this for church. I was pretty proud of the result, until Natalie critiqued me saying "Mommy, your hair's kinda crazy. You like a little bit like a guy." Why thank you, dear. That's exactly the look I was going for.

4. Nati uses the word "certainly" more than any other kid I know. For example, we were at my aunt's new house when she needed to go potty. When we got into the bathroom, she said "This is a big bathroom! And certainly they have a shower, too!" Or she'll say "I'm certainly hungry. Can I have some candy?"

5. This one is my favorite. We were driving past a church in our area that has 3 wooden crosses set up on the side of the road. Natalie smiled and said "Look! Jesus signs!"

Life Gets In The Way

Another long hiatus from blogging. Honestly, there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't want to sit down and type something out. It's not that I didn't have the desire. I just couldn't come up with anything to say.

Does anyone really want to hear about the mundane, day-to-day life of a stay at home mom?

I enjoyed my break from the blog quite a bit, but I think it's time to start it up again.

I'm not even going to attempt to catch up on the past few weeks (mostly because it was all pretty much business as usual!). However, I am going to post an Evan update for my own records because I can never seem to find his baby book to fill out when I'm thinking about it.

At his four month appointment, Evan weighed in at 15 lb 5 ounces. He's in the 50th percentile for his weight and the 75th percentile for his height. We've got a big boy on our hands!

He can now flip from back to tummy and tummy to back whenever he wants, although sometimes he forgets and screams his head off to be flipped over.

His first tooth broke through on Friday!! I can't believe it. Not even five months old and already getting teeth. I'm just glad I'm not breastfeeding anymore! Yikes!

He's eating rice and oatmeal cereal like a champ and next week we'll start with some stage one veggies!

They all grow up far too fast. I can't believe how big he's gotten so quickly!

One Year Ago Today

It was exactly one year ago today that two little pinks lines showed up on a pregnancy test.

I was scared out of my mind. It had been 6 months since we lost Baby Opal and, even though I was so excited to be pregnant again, the loss of my precious baby was still very fresh in my mind. I'd go from being excited one minute, to anxious, to terrified, then back again.

Once you experience the loss of a child, there is a part of your heart that never fully heals. Sure, there'll be days when you don't even think about it. But then something happens... a song comes on the radio, see a movie that involves a loss (fair warning, if you haven't seen Time Traveler's Wife yet, bring tissues) or you happen to pull the shirt you were wearing the day you found out the baby was gone out of the dryer and all of the sudden you are right back in the middle of the emotions that go along with it.

The innocence of pregnancy is gone. Even though you try your best, sometimes you can't help but imagine the worst. Each day, each trip to the bathroom, puts fear and doubt into your heart. Fear permeates its way through your life, making the weeks in between your check ups unbearable.

But with each day, hope also blooms. Every hour, every minute that you go without something happening is like the best Christmas present you've ever received. And then, you hear your baby's heartbeat. You see them on the monitor. You feel those first flutters, then the ever stronger kicks and nudges.

As the months pass, you anticipate the arrival of your little one and the memory of the pain and fear subsides. You never fully forget, but life continues. You move on.

As I sit here typing this, my miracle boy is sleeping soundly in his crib. I worry about him teething already (no kidding! 3 little chompers are on their way in). I worry if he's getting enough to eat, if he's happy enough and if he's progressing the way he should.

I can tell you it's been quite some time since I really sat down and though of Opal. I wear my necklace and earrings that Josh bought for me to remind me of her most days and there are still some reminders around the house, but overall I like to think that she'd want me to be happy with my life. She knows as well as I do that I'll see her again one day.

Then, today, another one of those reminders came up.

You see, on this day, the one year anniversary of finding out that we were pregnant with our little man, Selah's newest CD finally got released. It was the one they were going to release almost a year ago, but it has been delayed a couple of times. This song is on that CD.

I can't tell you how many times I watched that video and cried my eyes out in those months after losing Opal. The song became such a comfort for me. It helped me to remember that even though I never got to hold her in my arms or do all the little things I would have wanted to do with her, God is still in control and and He is taking care of her, just like He is taking care of all of us.

Even after all this time, the tears still flowed. But now, I am able to cry in joy for knowing that my baby is flying with her angel wings through the heavens, praising God and glorifying Him. And one day, we will all join her and worship right along side of her.

Such a short time

Such a long road

All this madness

But I know

That the silence

Has brought me to His voice

And He says...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning

Walked her through the parted seas

Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes

Who could love her like this?

I don't want to take one more day for granted. My children here on earth need me to be the courageous, Godly woman that I should be. They deserve my whole heart. They deserve to be protected and loved and cared by Mommy and Daddy, while Opal is being watched over by her Father. I cannot wait for my whole family to be reunited once again!